Conquering My Fear - My 20th HS Reunion

Well, this is it. The post about the 20th high school reunion...

You might all remember the post I wrote back in November about my uneasy feelings regarding my upcoming high school reunion. It ended up being one of the 10 most popular posts on my blog and I was really quite surprised. Either people can relate to those uneasy high school feelings or you all just like reading about my massive insecurities. ;D

I wrote in that post that I was unsure if I even I wanted to go to my reunion. I had spoken with my good high school friend J about possibly going together to the reunion again - like we had done for the 10 year. But unfortunately, my good friend J had an opportunity to abandon me take a romantic vacation with her hubby to Vegas on reunion weekend instead (something I really cannot blame her for). So, that left me with no female wing man. I was very lucky that Doug was going to be with me and that he graduated from the same class, but guys don't get as worked up about all this stuff like girls do. I had hoped if I felt a bit nervous about doing this that I would have the support of another female.

About a month before the reunion, I decided that I wanted to go and face my fears. (Honestly, Doug went along with it because I really wanted to go. I don't think he would have been devastated if he missed it.) So, Doug and I both signed up and paid our fees. I went out and bought a new pair of shoes. Got my hair styled. Pulled out the Spanx. Did all the normal the preparation stuff. Kept trying to remind myself that I wasn't going to look 18 again but that I looked pretty good for my age - I guess. I was feeling pretty good about things until a week before the reunion. Then I started to stress. When my friend Suzanne came over to swim the day before the reunion, I was talking to her about my "buyer's remorse." I told her that I was really starting to not want to go. She and I laughed when I mentioned there would be an open bar at the reunion and that maybe after a few drinks, I might be feeling a whole lot better about things. I knew if I told Doug about my reservations, he would kick my @$$. But the day of the reunion, I did let it slip that I was having concerns. Let's just say he wasn't happy. (See - this is why I needed a female wing man.) We made a decision to have dinner before the reunion and get to the reunion casually late (it started at 7PM and we got there around 7:45PM) to ease some of my stress. And we made a pact that if the reunion sucked, then we would leave early and catch a movie.

My parents picked Briana up early on that Saturday morning (July 16), and took her out for a day of fun and a sleepover at their house that night (pictures to come in a future post). That gave me time to primp and stress. After getting all ready, Doug and I headed out to dinner and it was really delicious. We then drove to the venue, we had our game plan and we were ready to enter the reunion.

What I forgot to mention earlier was that the reunion was being held at the same hotel where Doug and I had our wedding reception back in 1997. Doug and I walked into the hotel and followed the signs to the reunion. Not only was the reunion at the same hotel, it was in the same exact room. It was really crazy.

Doug and I got our pins with our lovely high school photos on them and held hands as we entered the room. Just like we did on our wedding day (minus the pins). And just like when we entered that room on our wedding day, we were greeted with smiles. We even got a big "Doug and Lisa are here!" shout by an old friend of ours. Now we didn't get applause like we did on our wedding day (which would have been lovely), but we were happy with the smiles. ;D

The minute we entered the room we started giving and receiving hugs and talking with old friends. I honestly talked so much first hour, I wasn't even able to get to the bar. Luckily, Doug stopped and went over to get me a glass of wine. The one thing that I found fascinating was how many people walked over to me and called me "Briana's Mom." I think my kid might be more popular with my high school classmates that I am - heh. I was shocked and quite humbled by people that came up to me and said they read my blog. And because of F@cebook, I was able to talk to people about their lives and families like I have been in touch with them for years. I even found that I was talking with people that I really didn't talk with much in high school, but I knew about their "goings on" because of F@cebook. And there were a few people that I talked to that night that I wished I had hung out with more in high school. I also want to add that a number of women I talked to that night admitted that they had been nervous going into the reunion too. I was in good company and realized I wasn't completely crazy.

Of course, there were a lot of people at the reunion that I didn't speak with. There were probably around 100 classmates there total, most with spouses/significant others. That's a lot of people. There was no way you could talk to everyone. I will say that I was able to talk to (or at least say hello) and laugh with everyone that I really, really hoped to catch up with in that room.

The evening was such a pleasant surprise. The small committee of classmates that put the reunion together really did an amazing job. By the time I looked at my watch, we had already been there almost two hours. There was no need to leave and see a movie. Doug and I even danced one slow dance that night on the same dance floor we danced on at our wedding reception. We were there a little over three hours when my feet started to ache. I knew it was time to go home. And I was kind of sad. Everyone says "Oh, let's not wait 10 or 20 years to see each other again. Let's get together sooner." But deep down, with everyone's busy lives, that probably won't happen. But who knows - maybe I will see a few of these people in person again soon. I hope to anyway. At least I know where to find them.

The thing I walked away with that night was that I wasn't as inadequate or insignificant in high school as I had been remembering in my mind. And I believe FB and my blog made the night much easier. People knew who I was when I walked in the door and they honestly seemed happy to see me (and Doug). I was honestly happy seeing them again too.

I faced my fear. I had a good time. Will I go to my 30? I will cross that bridge when I get to it. And for any of my high school friends reading this post - "GO JACKETS!"

Between Doug and me, we seriously only took like seven pictures the whole night and I am kicking myself for not taking more. There was a class photo taken that night that I haven't received yet and I will post later. Here are a few pics from the night...

It is good sometimes to face your fears. Now I can always say "I did it."