Acceptance

I can't believe I haven't posted in almost a week. Life has been quite crazy. Doug had some medical issues throughout the week (don't worry, he is fine) and I was preparing for a community garage sale that happened on Friday and Saturday.

Unfortunately, the garage was quite disappointing. We sold a few things but definitely not as much as we had hoped to sell. I had lots of baby clothes, toys and accessories to sell, but no one seemed too interested in those items. We mainly sold electronics and small furniture (like lamps, etc). Someone did buy Bri's pack n play, so I was pretty happy about that. All the baby stuff I didn't sell at the garage sale, I am going to consign or donate. The problem with community sales is all the competition. And when you live in a large neighborhood toward the back like I do, by the time the people get to you - if they even get to you - potential buyers are pretty much out of money or have already found what they are looking for.

I put out lots of baby items for this garage sale. I proved to myself that I have finally accepted that Briana will be Doug's and my only child. At times, I do struggle with the decision though. Honestly, I do not have a desperate need to have another child, but I did hope to give Briana a sibling to grow up with. I tried to give her a sibling, but it wasn't meant to be. So I do realize though that this decision isn't completely in my hands. Sometimes you have base your life decisions according to the cards you are dealt. Growing up, I never imagined only raising one child. I never pictured having a really big family, but I always thought I would probably parent two or three kids. Then again, I never pictured myself spending so many years struggling for just one child either. I guess Doug and I could continue to struggle, stress and focus on adding to our family now that we are in our late 30's (whether it be through invasive, uncomfortable fertility treatments or through the long, emotional and complicated process of adoption) or we can enjoy and focus on the amazing daughter we have now and concentrate on living a full life with her. So we have chosen option two. Will I always have some worry about Briana being an only child? That we made the right choice? Absolutely. But right now, I believe we are making the right choice for our family. All I can do now is raise Briana to the best of my ability to be a well-adjusted only child and surround her with as many friends and family as possible.

Acceptance. It make take a while to get there, but when you do, it is a good feeling.