I'm Trying To Be Nicer Mama (The Rough Patch)

See that face? Yes, I was able to capture it. The face that I had been getting from Miss B over the last few weeks. Anytime she got ticked at mama - that's the face I got. When I corrected her (like during homework). When she didn't like something I said. When I annoyed her. 

That is the face.

A couple of weeks before Doug and I left for Napa, Briana started getting a bit more huffy with me (and bit more huffy with Doug too). Working on homework was getting tougher. She was getting mad at me when I helped her read. She got on "yellow" at school for the first time ever the day before we left for Napa - that means she had to move her star on the behavior chart twice (which means she got reprimanded twice for not listening). I thought she was maybe upset because we were leaving town. She was of course an angel with my parents. And when we got home, I hoped the huffiness would end. But it didn't. It was still there.

She is not the type of kid to say no to us. But it started happening. For example, I wanted to go out on Mother's Day and she complained that she didn't want to go out. At soccer practice (before we left town), she got angry with Doug when he started kicking the ball around with one of her teammates. Jealousy reared its ugly head. And she even huffed at her soccer coach and refused to kick the ball (over something I can't remember now). Doug and I got on her for all of that.

Every morning when I would wake her up for school, she would be super cranky and kind of unfriendly to me. During field day, I tried to correct her during one of the games because she was doing something incorrectly and "the face" (see above) was the face I got from her after that. She huffed me during the spring fling too when I was trying to help (verbally) steer her the right way during a ride on game. Doug and I had gotten back from Napa the night before but we dragged ourselves to the spring fling because she wanted to go so badly - which she knew. And over the course of a few weeks, when I picked her up from school, she would see me and hide her face behind her pickup ticket as she approached my car. When my parents picked her up from school, it was like she was getting picked up by rock stars - she was so excited. Me - not so much.

Now I know that I am boring and old hat, and believe me, I don't need applause or excitement when she gets in my car after school. But, I also don't need her hiding her face from me either. I don't know where all the attitude was coming from, but all I knew was I was getting tired of it. I know Briana is only five and she may have been upset, but I also know I am her mother, I make the rules and I can't let her talk back to me (or others). I had been letting her get away with the huffiness long enough. I would reprimand her, but not harsh enough I guess because it was still happening way too often.

When she and I got home after field day, I told her she needed to take a shower. I had been at field day with her for 4 hours. She had given me "the face" while I was there. She had gotten a bloody lip that needed treatment. I was tired. She was tired.

I started to take the ponytail holder out of her hair so I could comb all the knots out of it (this child has the knottiest hair). I tried to be careful, but it got a little stuck and it hurt her a bit when it came out. And she got mad. She started huffing at me and whining at me again and I was done. I don't like it when I yell, but I admit that I did. I told her how she had been acting lately and that she needed to cut it out now. I told her she had been sassing me and huffing at me for weeks, that I didn't know why and I really didn't appreciate it.

She started to cry and I put her in the shower. She cried on and off until she got out of the shower. I dried her hair and told her to go to her room. I went to check on her about 10 minutes later and she had locked her door. Oh yes she did. She knows she is not supposed to do that. She had some stuffed animals taken away for that one.

 I finally told her that she could come out of her room and go in her playroom. Then I went downstairs and sat on the couch to watch TV and calm down. I heard her upstairs moving around and doing something. She was up there for a long time. She came downstairs, sat next to me and handed me this...

I started to cry and thanked her for making it for me. It was her olive branch. I knew my sweet girl was still in there somewhere. She said she was sorry and told me she was going to try to be
nicer to me.

And over the last few days, she has been so much better. Sweet, loving and no huffing. She even reminds me that she is trying to be nicer. And in return, I told her that I am going to try not to let my temper flair so quickly (which I tend to do sometimes) and that I would be nice too.

Every relationship has rough patches. I guess this was hers and mine. She hasn't been horrible (she really is a good girl), but she certainly had some shaping up to do.

 I'm sure this rough patch will be mild in comparison to what will happen during her teen years. Please start praying for me now.