On July 5, 2009, Briana turned 2 years, 11 months old. She's one month shy of being 3 years old. I almost can't wrap my head around it. My baby became a toddler so quickly, and my toddler is now becoming a little girl. In the last several months, I can really see the change. She talks like a little girl. She walks like a little girl. She is becoming more independent. The diapers are gone. The baby gates are gone. Most of the baby toys are gone. Soon, the crib will be gone. She starts preschool in the fall. All of this growing is happening, but I'm not sure I am ready to let go of my baby girl.
I waited six years for her to arrive. I love watching her grow and at the same time, I wish it wasn't happening so fast. Over these last two years, I have soaked in every little thing Briana has done. Everything she has experienced. Everything she has learned. I've tried to capture as much of her as I could in pictures and video and in words on this blog. I did it because I knew that she wasn't going to stay a baby forever.
I want to remember everything.
Tonight, when Doug and I were doing our bedtime routine with Bri, she turned to us and said, "Mommy, rock me?" And I told her "Absolutely, I will rock you." And I did. I love that she still has a part of her that still wants to be my baby.
This is the baby I met in China...
Sometimes I can't believe that Briana was actually this little...
This is my little girl now...
As Briana grows, she will start to have questions about her past. She will begin to realize her life story is very different than most of her peers. Right now, she is just enjoying life. Footloose and fancy free. She still doesn't understand yet how she came to be with us. When that time comes, I hope I can provide her with some answers, some comfort, some reassurance and lots of love. And I hope I can help her handle her realizations and grief. I want her to know that Doug and I will ALWAYS be her mommy and daddy. I am trying to prepare myself for what lies ahead.So, I will take each day one at a time. Enjoy every second I still have my little girl with me. And I will watch her each day blossom into a beautiful, young lady.
But deep down, a little piece of me will always miss the baby girl that I met and fell in love with in China.
26 Kind Words:
I sooo remember those days in China..
It is truly amazing how fast they grow up..
Hugs..
She will always be your little girl..
believe me...
I have a 19 year old that still kisses me goodbye whereever he goes..
Hugs....
Ohhh Lisa, you made me cry. So tender are these years, but you will cherish each stage you reach and go through together. A very touching post.
That little girl will always be there and will always need you. I'm 36 and love the time I spend with my mom. While she doesn't rock me to sleep (that would be a little weird at this point in my life) I still look to her for advice and for guidance. I have a feeling that Briana will look to you for those same things for the rest of her life.
Hugs to you.
Lisa, I remember the same and going through the same emotions as to where did my baby go? It's going by entirely too fast! I tell Karlee she is such a big girl when she does big girl things, but I also tell her "but your still momma's baby girl"! Trying to rocker know gives me a work out at 32lbs! But I do it every chance I get! Doing the same here in Texas! BTW we will be flying into Atlanta Aug 13th for our China group reunion. From there we are driving to Augusta! Can't wait to see how they all have grown!
What a sweet post. I love the joy you find in motherhood!
I miss my babies, too. Like you, I want to remember everything as well. However, as they grow I keep discovering new things about them and their personalities shine through more and more. So even though I enjoy watching them grow, it is hard to let go of the sweet innocent babies :-(
Oh, this post made me tear up! I totally understand....
Lisa-I had tears reading this! I know exactly how you feel with Hannah getting ready to start kindergarten in the Fall. It goes by so incredibly fast and we just have to cherish every moment. She'll always have a special place for Mommy and Daddy....no matter how old she gets! :)
Oh Lisa, you made me cry. Our "baby" will be 4 in August, and I can't wrap my head around that! Where has time go.
Like you, I know the road ahead will bring questions that I may not be able to answer for him, but I hope he always knows that he is the most loved, most dreamed about child on this planet.
This was incredibly sweet and beautiful, Lisa. I totally get what you're saying. I did not prepare myself for how quickly this all happens, yet I'm so loving who he has turned into. Except that he NEVER asks to be rocked :(. "No Momma, I do it."
Great post, and SO true! We are only about 1.5 months behind you. It is hard to let go of the babyhood. That's why I am not too sad that Charlotte is not ready for her big girl bed or diapers quite yet. I do love to see and hear them grow, but I also miss my sweet baby. And yes, when you wait for years and years (and Charlotte will be our only), the milestones are all bittersweet. I love all the pics of your girl! SO beautiful at every stage.
I can not believe how much she has grown...such a beautiful little girl.
This one made me cry. If I wore mascara, it would be all over my face like raccoon eyes.
Ok, so you like making me cry too? She is just gorgeous!!!
I know how you feel....the big three is coming way too fast....we are right behind you!!
She has really changed and grown up, but you are right....deep down they are still our baby girls:)
Lisa
Your little sweetie is growing but that little girl will always need her mommy. Even at 15 when she's so sure she does not! (add rolling eyes and crossed arms! ;o)
Precious times now and later. You and Doug are amazing parents and Briana is blessed to have you.
Yes, growing up, and books on top of the head don't work according to G. She is so cute and happy upcoming birthday. 3 is fun 2.
omg - I just totally boo-hoo'd. Why does it hurt so much to see them grow up?!?! I just cried on AB's shoulder the other day about this. I don't want Q to grow up, and I can't wait to see who he becomes. Aaaaahhh! Such a crux of motherhood...
I miss his sweet little baby self, and I adore his crazy little toddler self, and I'm sure I'll continue to love and adore him through the years - but saying goodbye to each phase is simply heartbreaking.
I hear you, my friend...
I have tears as I read this post. I have been going through some of the same things with our 3 year old, missing her baby days and yet looking forward to tomorrow. Our babies will always be our babies. GREAT post:)
Awww, i'm so there with you, our babes grow up too quick!!!!!
Briana is beautiful
xxx
s
She was such a little button :) You are right - they grow up so, so fast and before you know they were even about to do it, they've left another stage behind.
You have such a precious little girl - and she will always be your baby even when she is graduating!
What a beautiful post. Got me all teary. Some of the things you've written over the last couple years on your blog I can so relate to. I see myself parenting the same way you are.. paying attention to every single moment and soaking it all in. We've waited so long.. that we appreciate it all the more.
Wow, she was such an adorable baby...and now an adorable little girl. You are so right...enjoy every moment!
Our first baby will be 16 this Sept... Also, Alaina is telling us so much about China and asking many questions that we cannot answer. She asked me just last night about Sara and Lauren being in my tummy, but she and Ally were in a China tummy. I know it's confusing to her; coupled with her limited understanding of the language, it's harder to explain! Fun fun -- enjoy your little girl! It's fun to watch them grow...
I am right there with you. I have been working on scrapbooks and I miss EK being a baby but I love her so much the way she is now. I constantly have to remind myself that even though I think she is big today, this time next year she will be look so young. I take each day as a gift and pray about the day we start answering all the hard questions too. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Blessings!
Beautiful post and made me teary too. I am amazed at how quick the time has passed. H also asks me to rock her sometimes. Melts my heart... I hope she does it forever.
Bri gets more and more beautiful by the day. I loved reading the recent updates since I don't really blog much anymore.
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