Friendships Come and Friendships Go

With the year 2007 coming to a close soon and now that Briana is home with me, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my journey to Briana. And one of the things I have reflected on is my friendships. My dear friend Debra (who I have been friends with since the 4th grade and got to chat on the phone with today) forwarded this e-mail to me the other day. It really touched me.

"You might be best friends one year,
Pretty good friends the next year,
Don't talk that often the next year,
And don't want to talk at all the year after that.
So, I just wanted to say,
You are special to me
and you have made a difference in my life.

I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you."

Through my fertility/adoption/post adoption-new mommy journey, I found out who my friends were. Those people who would stick by me through thick and thin. I also made so many new, wonderful friends. Many of those friendships I believe will last a lifetime. I felt lonely during my fertility struggle (often times limiting my contact with those who had young children because it was just so hard on me), and though I had some amazing friends, most of them had not gone through what I had been going through. When I chose to adopt, my whole life changed. I found people with a common goal and similar experiences - a major support system. I also found blogland! And when I got my referral and finally brought Briana home, I felt so much love - from everyone. It was actually overwhelming. And lo and behold, now I can finally relate to my friends who have children. It has been a wonderful experience.

Unfortunately during my long journey, I have had a few friendships dwindle as well. Due to different circumstances and situations, the friendships just...changed. And though some of these relationships are not completely gone, they are different/strained - not the same or as easy as they used to be. I have learned (and am still learning) that friendship can fade - sometimes you know the reasons why and many times you don't. No matter what, it hurts. A blog buddy of mine said on her blog a while back, "There are people that come into your life for a reason. We may never know why - and I don't think I will question it. I will cherish memories that will forever make me smile and giggle." Perfectly said...

I don't like to lose friendships, but it happens - whether it is my choice or not or whether I understand it or not. It is sad when you share very special moments in your life with someone, and then turn around one day and feel like you are talking to a stranger. My opinion is that friendship should come fairly easily. If you find you are working too hard to keep a friendship going or find you are getting hurt by it, then maybe it isn't meant to be. I am the type of person to dwell and fret (and I mean dwell and fret) on what I could have done differently to keep a friendship from ending. But deep down, I know both sides have to want to make it work. Gosh I have the hardest time letting go. When I make a friend, I want that friendship to last forever. I love my friends. I honestly do. Losing friends sucks. Period.

That is why I liked the e-mail so much. I could really relate to it. So to my friends (whether you are a past friend or present friend) and to everyone who follows my blog, thank you for all of your support, encouragement and kinds words during this entire process. Thank you for touching my life.