Not Sure I Will Ever Be Ready For A Teenager

 

It is way to early for me to stress about having a teenager (thank goodness) but a trip to my neighborhood playground a few weeks ago got me thinking about the future ahead. I arrived with Briana on a quiet Sunday afternoon a couple of weekends ago, and there were teenagers hanging out on the playground benches (see above pic). They probably ranged in age from 13 to 15. Briana started to play and paid them no mind, but I sat there observing them.

Oh good grief. Please tell me I was never that silly, juvenile and flirtatious at that age. I watched the girls that afternoon with their flat ironed bangs drooping in their eyes, heads cocked to one side trying to get said bangs out of their eyes, wearing their jeans a bit too tightly and rapidly texting on their cell phones. I watched the boys with Justin Bieber haircuts drooling at chasing the girls around the basketball court. They talked about school gossip, teen drama and learner's permits. I had a Coke can fly about a foot away from my feet without even an "I'm sorry" because they were throwing empty soda cans at each other. They are very lucky my 5 year old wasn't standing there at the time. Sigh. In their own minds and to each other, they thought they were being "cool." If they only knew how annoying silly they all really looked to the rest of the world that afternoon.

I know I was probably like that at their age. But honestly, I was a pretty tame teenager. I did like my parents (though there were times I thought they were ruining my life). I definitely had my moments where I had wished I had spontaneously combusted into life rather than actually admit that I had parents, but on the whole, I was tame compared to a lot of my schoolmates. I never skipped school. I got good grades. I didn't really date all that often (which at age 16 was pretty depressing) so boys weren't that big of an issue for my parents. When I was 12 years old, I did have someone that I really liked ask me to "go" (steady) with him and I told him no. I added, "We are only 12, where are we going to go?" I was probably a bit too mature for my age. That attitude made me popular with my parents, but not with the boys unfortunately. I think having labels of "girlfriends and boyfriends" in middle school is quite silly. It is ok to crush on someone, but I don't think Briana will be allowed to have an actual "boyfriend" in middle school. I think all that can wait until high school. My opinion, of course. I am sure her daddy wholeheartedly agrees with me. Except he will say she can't date until she is 40. I'm going to have to work on him on that one.

I know a lot of you reading are already dealing with teenage angst. I am so not ready for it. I love Briana's innocence at age 5. I love that she still thinks her dad and I are the greatest things since sliced bread. I love when I walk in her classroom and she yells, "Mama!!! My mama is here!!!" It is like she hasn't seen me in years even though I drove her to school that morning. I love her hugs and kisses. I love how much she loves me and I love how much I adore her. I wish I could just bottle her up and keep her at this age. It is such a wonderful age. Everything is still fresh, wonderful and exciting. She has her stubborn streak and we do fight at times, but for the most part, life is really, really good. 

But if Bri doesn't go through the "teenage angst" years, I won't be able to see the woman she will become. And I know she is going to be awesome. I guess going through the teenage years is a rite of passage. Who knows, maybe her teenage years won't be so bad. Maybe she won't hate me or become embarrassed of me. I can only hope. I hope I can find the line between letting her be herself and allowing her to spread her wings while remaining her parent and setting the limits. I just hope she doesn't act too much like those kids did on the basketball playground the other day. Ugh.

This is the stuff that brings a smile to my face...

Like Briana getting across the monkey bars by herself for the first time...

Here it is in live motion...



I am going to continue to enjoy this smile and this innocence for now. Hopefully she will continue to like me for a little while longer.