Bri's Issue At School

There is a little girl in Bri's class that seems to have a problem with Briana. Bri has made comments to me for months regarding a little girl that really wants nothing to do with her. I spoke to Bri's teacher about it a few weeks ago and Bri's teacher asked me if I wanted the girls separated. At the time, I actually asked her to do the opposite. I thought if this girl had an opportunity to get to know Bri, she might begin to like her. So the teacher sat them next to each other that day and for a few days after (they rotate seats in class so everyone gets a chance to work together) and I received a report from Bri's teacher saying the girls seemed get along well. Sigh of relief, right? Well...

Fast forward a few weeks. Bri has been updating me and letting me know that the little girl (I'll call her LG for short) still really doesn't want to talk to her. I finally told Bri that she just needs to let it go. If LG doesn't want to be her friend, then she just has to accept that. Not everyone is going to be friends with her. But yesterday, a new layer was added to the story.

Coming home from school yesterday, Bri told me LG got put on "red." (They have a green, yellow, red discipline system at school. If a kid gets on red, he/she got in big trouble.) But, Bri didn't tell me at first why LG got on red. A few hours later, Bri eventually told me that LG got in trouble because LG pushed her (Briana). And then LG refused to apologize to Briana for doing it and was put on red.

I don't know why, but even after that, I felt I needed to talk to Bri a little more about it while I was helping her get dressed for bed. Something was nagging at me about it. It took all day, but Bri finally added that before the pushing incident, during "circle time", that LG said she didn't want to sit next to her. Briana asked her why and she told Briana that she didn't want to sit next to anyone that had black hair.

For weeks, I haven't wanted to go there. I honestly don't want to throw out the race card every time someone has a problem with Bri. Not every issue Bri will have in her lifetime will be race related. I am aware that I can be hypersensitive to it. But after all these weeks of Briana making comments about this girl, I am feeling like this might be what we are dealing with here. I asked Briana how she felt when LG said this to her. She said she felt sad. I told her it is not ok to judge someone by what he/she looks like. That is never, ever ok. And then I asked her what color my hair was. And she smiled and said "black" with a little giggle. And I said I bet LG doesn't want to play with me either. I asked Bri if she wanted me to talk to her teacher about what happened and asked if she thought her teacher knew what LG had said. She said she didn't think her teacher heard it and that, yes, she wanted me to talk to her about it.

Last night before bed, I told Briana how proud I was that she shared all of this with me. And she said "I did good, right?" And I said, "You most certainly did." 

I went straight in to talk to Bri's teacher this morning. I did find out from her teacher that LG has been having some behavioral issues for weeks now (and not just with Bri). But, she did not know what LG had said to Bri. When I told her, she said "Oh no." She felt bad that she hadn't heard it. I told her that I am concerned that LG might not like Briana because of what she looks like. I also told her that Bri gave me permission to talk to her about it and that I wanted her to be in the loop on all of this. She asked if I wanted to keep the girls together or apart. I am now in the "keep them apart" frame of mind (especially if LG is getting physical). I asked Bri's teacher if she would have a talk with the kids about diversity and not judging a book by its cover. It could be used as a learning tool and she was 100% on board with this. And she also said she was going to talk to Briana privately about what happened. (I totally love Bri's teacher by the way.)

Again, I am not 100% sure what I am dealing with here. But when Briana tells me that she doesn't understand why LG talks to all the other girls besides her and then LG made that statement, I can't help but put two and two together.  I'd rather be hyper-vigilant than not say anything at all. It was not easy for me to do this. I was very nervous talking to Bri's teacher about this.

After school today, I spoke with Bri about her day. I asked her if her teacher had a private talk with her and she said yes. And I asked her if her teacher spoke to the class and she said yes. I asked her what the teacher said to the class. She said that her teacher told them that "It doesn't matter what color hair you have - black or blonde. And it doesn't matter what color skin you have - dark or light. And if we were all the same, it would be pretty boring."

Yes Briana, if we were all the same, it would be pretty boring. :D