Trouble With Briana

I'm tired. So very tired. Since the day after Christmas, Briana emotionally has been up and down. Big time mood swings. Happy one second, mad the next. I truly think Bri was on Christmas overload. For a few nights after Christmas, she wasn't sleeping well at night. One night, I actually think she may have experienced a night terror. She was banging her fists on the mattress of her crib and thrashing around. For a few minutes, I thought she was awake. But, then I started to realize that she didn't really even know I was there. She cried and kicked for a few minutes, and then she just fell back asleep again immediately. Like it never happened. It was very creepy.

Yesterday, Angela and Laney came over in the morning for a play date. As soon as Laney touched one toy that belonged to Briana, Briana went into meltdown mode. I felt sooo bad. After several time outs in her room, I finally gave the girls mac n cheese and after that, Briana was so much better. They were actually playing together - not just parallel play. It was really great. But it was 25 minutes of pure struggle before lunch. Angela and Laney went home about 1PM and Bri took a nap. After her nap, Bri's cheeks were flushed. She seemed to have a slight fever, so I gave her some Motrin. I rocked her to sleep last night and she slept pretty good the whole night, except one cry out around two in the morning. Yawn...

Then there was today. Bri decided to sleep in until about 9. She was cranky waking up but seemed to be feeling better. Doug needed some new clothes, so we went to a men's store and Briana was actually really good the whole time. She walked around for about a half an hour. She was good until she managed to bump her head on one of the clothing racks. She didn't bump it hard, but when Bri gets hurt - she gets mad. Not just mad, she gets down right p!ssed. Doug was just about to pay anyway, so I took her from the store. She was screaming and kicking. I tried to get her into her car seat, but she was locking up and trying to wriggle onto the floor of the car. She continued to SCREAM. It was a pure wrestling match - and for a while she was winning the match. Bri is strong - especially when she is ticked. I wonder what people looking out the store windows were thinking. After several minutes (which seemed like an eternity), I got her strapped in. Doug finally got to the car. My arms ached from trying to calm her down. I finally calmed her enough to get her to take a drink and when we started driving, she fell asleep in the car. Luckily, I can take Briana from the car to the crib without her waking up. After her two hour nap, she woke up ticked once again. Crying, writhing, stiffening up. She also felt warm again. Doug and I finally had to plop her in front of Monsters Inc to calm her down.

I am hoping that she is just not feeling well and this is what is causing her bad mood. Briana does have a temper, but meltdowns like this are usually few and far between. I am not sure if this is just terrible twos stuff or not.

Also, I (and Doug) decided to get Briana's speech evaluated. I know my pediatrician said not to worry, but I am not going to listen to him. And I also know you are not supposed to compare kids, but how else are you going to gauge where you think your child should be? My sister talked to some friends of hers that are speech therapists and they both agreed that if I had even the slightest concern about Briana's speech, I should get it checked out. I also talked to a friend of mine that has a child in speech therapy and she agreed as well. So I made the call. We have had one evaluation so far and now we are going to have a more intense one next month to decide if Briana needs therapy. Bri talks all the time, but my problem is that she isn't forming a lot of words correctly and I cannot understand her a lot of the time. It is not only frustrating for her, it is frustrating for me. The earlier I get her help if she needs it, the better.

I am trying to be strong, but I am stressing about all this - the speech, the tantrums, the stubborness. I am a mom - it's my job to stress. All I can do is try to be the best mom I can be to Briana. I just hope it is good enough...