Our Sorrowful Loss

As you all know, the entire month of March I was very sick. I got every sickness under the sun - strep throat, pink eye, cold, cough, ear infection, etc. What everyone did not know was that I was pregnant on top of all of that. Sadly last Monday night/Tuesday morning, I miscarried at 8 weeks. I didn't miscarry because of the sickness - I miscarried because it just wasn't meant to be...

Although I have always been honest and pretty forthcoming on my blog, I did consider not sharing this news because it is so very personal. But not sharing this news would have made me feel like I was holding something back, and that is just not me. So many of you have followed the events in my life for years and have been such an amazing support system. I know many of you have been wondering where I have been and what has been going on. So this is what has been going on.

I have decided though not to go into detail about the pregnancy and miscarriage on the blog. I will say that Briana was never told about the pregnancy, so she is unaware of what exactly happened to mommy.

I'm sad that I am not able to give Briana a sibling at this time. And to be honest, Briana may never have a sibling. Emotionally, physically, mentally - Doug and I are just drained. We have been working on building a family for nine years now. In those nine years, we received one amazing blessing and are so eternally grateful. I think about those of you still waiting for your children after years and years of waiting (whether biologically or through adoption) and my heart goes out to you. The strain is unbelievable. Over the last few days I decided to stop, take a breath and remember all the blessings that I have in my life. In life, sometimes you just have to know when to fold your hand. I have a wonderful husband, supportive family and friends, and the most amazing, spirited, outgoing daughter. I have a very happy and fulfilled life. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this beautiful little girl in my world...

We are sad. We are grieving. But I know we are going to be just fine.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall ~ Confucius."