Feeling "Out Of Sorts"

I saw this rainbow last night at Doug, Bri and I were leaving a restaurant after dinner. It was beautiful and I really needed to see it. Rainbows are lucky.

I am not sure what is wrong with me. I am feeling "out of sorts" this week.

Physically - I am feeling much better. I am still tired and sluggish though. Sadly, I am majorly lacking the motivation to do much of anything. I have to "turn it on" when Bri is home, but when she is at school, I don't feel like doing much at all.

Maybe I am just tired from the busy summer and from being sick.

I went to the school book fair with Briana and Doug last night. Bri had a good time. Me - not so much really. It was a bit chaotic and disorganized. Bri came home with a few good books, so it was worth going because she really enjoyed herself. And she even won a gift certificate for a free book for having on a cute costume (it was a "haunted" book fair). I ran into a couple of moms at the school I know. We said our hellos. Everyone I talked with was very nice and friendly last night.

Overall though, I am feeling a bit out of place at Bri's school. I wish I didn't feel that way. I can't seem to break into the elementary school parent "cliques" that have seem to have formed. I chit chat with a number of folks, but I don't really hang out with any of the other parents. In part, I think a lot of people have older kids in the school, so they have been a part of the activities for years and many people already know each other. Secondly, a number of parents probably have kids who befriended each other at school and play dates have come out of that. And lastly, a lot of people are already good friends with their neighbors, and their kids are all now in school together.

B has an amazing group of friends outside of our neighborhood/school district, so maybe she doesn't feel a big need to find a "BFF" at school. Bri seems to have friends at school, but she hasn't really hooked up with any one person specifically. And I have a wonderful group of friends outside of school as well, and I am so grateful for them because if it was up to solely making friends through Bri's school, I'd be on my own most of the time. It is kind of a bummer.

My biggest problem is that I live in a county that most of my closest friends don't live in. So when fall break happens next week, Bri has no one to hang out with because the counties where Bri's friends live don't have a fall break. I would really like to find someone close - in the neighborhood - for Bri to hang out with.

I live in a kid-filled neighborhood, but sadly, I don't really have any kids Bri's age living on my street. There is one house down the street with kids, but the kids are rarely outside the house and I don't know the people. I tried to introduce myself to the mom on Halloween a couple of years ago but felt a bit blown by off her.

I try to be open to meeting new people. That doesn't always mean every person I meet becomes my best friend, but I like to try to branch out. You just don't know who you will click with. Sometimes I click with a person and sometimes I don't. But it feels like a lot of people around here have "enough" friends and don't seem to need to make any more. Which is sad for me and my daughter.

Doug would really love to move closer to the perimeter. He works from home but visits a lot of sites/companies for work. And they are not close. It is far for him to drive all over. We live about 15 minutes from any kind of expressway and 45 outside of Atlanta. To be honest, in a few years, I am pretty sure we will be moving closer to the perimeter.

I love my house though - so moving is a much bigger deal for me. It is the house I brought Briana home to. And I do really like the area I live in. But if I cannot find a way to make more friends in my neighborhood and/or at Bri's school, then there really isn't much keeping me here - is there?

Maybe I could find it easier somewhere else. Somewhere I already have established friends. I have had a few of my friends already ask me to move closer to them. :D

I think this post is what you would call a "stream of consciousness" post. Just getting my feelings out. Writing is very therapeutic for me.

I have a bunch of activities for me and Bri to do next week on break, so maybe that will give me the kick in the pants I need to get motivated again. And once fall break is over, I have offered to volunteer a bit in Bri's classroom. That should give me some more access to meeting more parents. I guess I will see what happens.

Hopefully this post wasn't too boring for you to read. Thanks for letting me get this out.