In Memory Of Our Losses (As Mother's Day Approaches)

Mother's Day is a wonderful and happy day. A day to celebrate the wonderful mothers in our lives. It will be a great Mother's Day for me because I have my beautiful daughter in my life and my wonderful mom too. But I know I will still think about the fact that I thought I would have been pregnant on that day. It was the day I was planning on revealing to my family that I was pregnant again after all these years. But it wasn't meant to be. I really am at peace with it now. But I can't say it doesn't still bring me some sadness.

I decided after my last miscarriage that I wanted to buy a rose bush to remember the babies that Doug and I lost (in 2002 and 2010). I picked a rose bush that will bloom lavender roses called "sweetness" from Jackson and Perkins. Doug ordered the bush online for me and it arrived earlier this week (they come with just branches and roots - no flowers yet). We planted it Wednesday night in our little rose garden next to the rose bush we planted for Doug's brother Leo (who we lost in 1997). Leo's rose bush grows like wildfire every year. It reminds me so much of Leo's personality. I found a little angel to overlook our "sweetness" bush and also a rock with the Chinese word for love on it (from Briana) for her lost siblings. I hope that the rose bush will grow big and beautiful. (The pictures are a little fuzzy because I took them with my cell phone.)


Here is Briana watering the plant...

These are some of my roses blooming already...

This is a rose about to bloom on Leo's rose bush...

We have four rose bushes in our backyard now (sorry they are hard to see)...

This is what the "sweetness" roses will look like (lavender in color)...

And this Mother's Day, we will also remember Briana's birth mother and foster mother. This is the candle that we light to remember them and will be doing it again this year.

And to all of you that will have a mixture of happiness and sadness on Mother's Day due to loss (whether it is a mother, sister, child or wife), just know that I am saying a prayer for you.