Almost 6 Years To Match Less Than 1 Year Of Dossiers

I did something tonight that I have not done in many years.

I decided to visit a website that I basically lived on while I was enduring the adoption wait for Briana. It was a lifeline for not only myself, but for many of my friends in the China adoption community.

The site still exists ~ though I know the number of people that still visit the site have steadily declined as the wait times for non-special needs children have steadily increased.

I've had people ask me over the years how long the wait is now. To be honest, I don't keep up with it anymore, but I often tell people that I believe the wait is probably around 5 years now for a non-special needs child.

All of the children that I personally see coming into the states now (whether I come into contact with in my daily life or see through blogging/FB) are considered "special needs" children. The needs of these children vary greatly (from mild to moderate to severe). Each and every child is beautiful and it is wonderful to see each child find his or her forever family. People just don't (can't) apply for non-special needs children from China anymore.

 When I hopped over to the website tonight, I surprisingly saw that there are still a few people in the non-special needs China adoption line. And then I saw how long people have waited that finally received a referral a week and a half ago ~ I was truly floored.

My log in date for my dossier for Briana was November 3, 2005. It is a date that is seared into my memory. I held on to that date for dear life for 19 months as I waited to see Briana's face for the first time.

Doug and I were finally matched with Briana on June 6, 2007. We waited 19 months for our referral when we were originally told we would only have to wait approximately 6 to 7 months. At the time, I thought 19 months was an eternity. Looking back now, 19 months was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

For people that don't know how the China adoption process works, matches are made once a month. And referrals are made chronologically ~ based on when a dossier is logged into China. I just read that the last batch of referrals came in on February 28, 2013. This batch included families logged in on the days of October 18 and 19 of 2006. Only two days worth of dossiers were matched for an entire month.

My dossier log in date was Nov 3, 2005. The referral for Briana came on June 6, 2007.

People that were just given referrals on February 28, 2013 had dossiers logged in on October 18/19 of 2006.

That is almost 6.5 years. These people waited for 6.5 years for a referral. And October 19, 2006 is just two weeks shy of one year from my log in date. It is mind boggling.

So many people jumped the non-special needs ship years ago, but there are still a few that have decided to hang on (no one I know personally) and I find it truly amazing. These people have patience that is completely unfathomable to me.

I know a handful of people that actually had dossiers logged in during the year 2007. None of them are waiting now. I don't blame any of them. They went special needs, changed countries, adopted domestically, had children biologically, etc. And if they had decided to wait it out, it would have still been years before they saw a referral. It really is mind boggling.

Looking at that website brought back so many memories and emotions. I remember the dread I felt reading that site when the wait was extending. I also remember the elation I felt when I finally knew I was getting my referral.

I don't think I could ever get back on that roller coaster though. My hat goes off to anyone that has stayed on that ride.