Let's Talk About Soccer, Shall We?

 Well, Briana has been playing spring soccer for four weeks now and we are now taking a short break from playing games due to the county's spring break.

 The first week that Briana played soccer - I was super sick and couldn't go. Doug is still the parent ref for the games and my parents went to watch Miss B in my absence.

According to my parents and Doug, Briana rocked it that first day. Only two goals were made that day and she was the one that made them. The two teams that our team played against were our caliber or maybe a bit weaker (after watching games for a while, you can kind of get an idea of how each team plays). U8 soccer teams play a team for an hour, but they play two separate teams for each half an hour (switching opposing teams at halftime). It was a pretty even playing field that day. Our team won both games.

I wish I could have seen Briana play but my mom did snap some pictures...

The second week that Briana played, she did really well again...

The first half - Bri did awesome. She scored a goal. 

B's strength is playing a forward (center, left or right). She is fast and has really good control of the ball. This season - we are really seeing where each girl's strength lies. We have some awesome goalies and mid-fielders. Briana is not so strong on the goalie front. She is better when she keeps moving.

The second half she did ok. We were against a tough team. A team moving up to U10 next season. I could see a change in Briana's demeanor. This is the same demeanor I witnessed at the tournament last season. She loses her confidence when she is against a hard team and it is pretty obvious...

I chalked it up to nerves and since she played so well the first half - and I kind of just brushed it off. Our team won the first game and lost the second.

The third week was rough. Bri wasn't feeling well. She had been fighting a cold and had a cough. I asked her if she still wanted to go to the game and she definitely did. So we went. (And I didn't snap one photo that day.)

Once again, we were up against a really tough team the first half. Another team moving up to U10 next season. Now I know B wasn't feeling well, but she was just going through the motions that first half. She wasn't following through with anything. She kept coughing into her arm. Letting her teammates pick up her slack. Parents started asking me if she was ok because she wasn't herself. I wasn't sure, but I had a feeling it was a mixture of sickness and Bri being intimidated.

At half time, I went to talk with her and ask if she was ok or needed to go home. She wanted to stay. The coach put her in mid-fielder and goalie positions to keep her from running so much. We were matched up against a weaker team the second half. B's whole demeanor changed again. She was jumping around and laughing and didn't cough much at all during that game. I know she was not being required to run as much second half, but I knew at that moment Bri had not been really trying the first half. She had given up.

Funny thing, our team won both games anyway (even against the tough team) - even with Bri not giving it her all. That is how good our team is getting.

I have to admit that I was not happy. Not because Bri didn't score goals or didn't play well. It is because she lost her confidence and just gave up - again. Just like at the tournament. She figured she wasn't probably going to win anyway, so why try? I can't imagine what it is like for her to see girls that are a bit bigger than her charging her way. I bet it is kind of scary. But if she wants to keep playing soccer, she has to overcome those fears. She has great skill, but how do you teach a kid confidence and aggression? I know she is only 7, but the other girls on her team are also 7 and 8 years old - and they don't seem to give up. She lacks both confidence and aggression off the field too sometimes. So how do you do it? Darned if I know. How do you teach the sweetest and gentlest kid on the planet to push others out of the way and just go for it?

After that game, I got on her about it. I was probably too hard on her - I'll admit it. And I feel super badly about it. I've apologized to her since. But this is a pattern. I did tell her that is really hard to watch her not try and to watch her make her teammates work harder than they have to when she isn't helping. Doug and I are both trying to reassure her of how good she really is. We also told her that we don't care if she makes the goal or not. We just want her to give 110%. When she gives it her all, anything is possible.

 So for the fourth week, Briana was feeling better. She had a better attitude. She played really well. She didn't make a goal (but she did make an assist) and B's team kind of lost their mojo on Saturday (losing both games - which is so weird). The second half - the girls played one of those really hard U8 teams (almost U10) and Briana played hard. I saw very little intimidation from her that day. She fought through the nerves. She looked like this...

I am proud of her. She tried hard. 

I constantly ask her if she still likes soccer, if she still wants to play and if she is having fun. She says she still really likes it and wants to continue on. But, I told her that she can't give up when she "thinks" she can't beat an opposing team.

We will see if we can keep her confidence up when we return from our little spring break hiatus. Fingers crossed.