Continued - Biological Daughter Conversation

I want to thank all of you regarding reading my last post and giving me your thoughts and ideas on how to deal with curious people. I think I have a few ideas now on how to handle personal questions without being too revealing but also without being too mean as well. I think I will really use the response of "Why do you ask?" It kind of turns things around without being nasty and makes the person asking the question reveal something about him or herself as well.

I will say I remained very nice to the man at the Subway after his question. He has no idea that I felt awkward about the conversation whatsoever. As the conversation went on, I knew he was just curious and not malicious in any way. He was just so forward and it surprised me a little.

I guess my defenses are up a bit because I don't want Briana to feel uncomfortable when people ask us personal questions about our relationship. As she gets older, I'm just going to gauge how much she wants to share. And I will also to my best to figure out the motivation behind the questions before I start to answer them.

Thanks again so much for the advice! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!!!

And remember, the contest is still going on! Please take a quick peek at Tracey's website and come back here to give us a little feedback. Thanks!!!

"So, Is She Your Biological Daughter?"

Briana and I went to get a sandwich from Subw@y for lunch yesterday. We were the only customers in the restaurant, except for one man quietly eating his lunch in the corner.

Briana had a small tear fest in the car because she did something she wasn't supposed to do, but once we got out of the car, she was fine. She had a few tears in her eyes as we walked to the counter for our food. I was holding her. The man behind the counter was very friendly. Had a big smile on his face. He kept saying how cute Briana was and asked how she was doing. I told him she was having a little bit of an off day, but she was doing just fine. Then he asked how old she was. I said almost 4. He starts asking our sandwich orders.

Then he hits me with the question that stunned me. "So, is she your biological daughter?" Wow. I'm sure he would never have asked that question to another person that happened to have their child with them ordering lunch. At least a child of the same race. I think he asked the way he did because Briana actually does look very much like me. If I had an Asian husband, people might assume she was my biological daughter. I was shocked at his directness. I said, "No, she is adopted from China." Then he asked me if I had any other kids. Was this freakin' 20 questions? I said "No." He goes on to say how wonderful it is and proceeds to tell me that he knows there is no difference between loving a biological child and an adopted one. He only has one biological child, but he knows there is no difference. It's just so, so, so wonderful.

Um, why was he even saying any of this to me? I'm the one that has parented an adopted child for almost three years. I know there is no difference. He doesn't have to tell me any of this. He was almost beginning to ramble. I told him it absolutely makes no difference and she is my heart walking outside my body.

Since we were now new BFF's, he began to share with me that his mother was diagnosed with Lupus when he was 15 and he had to raise his little brother.

After our Dr. Phil moment, I paid him my money, he told me to have a wonderful day (with still a big smile on his face) and I sat down with Briana at the table. Briana obviously heard everything that was said, but she never said anything to me. She didn't seem affected by it at all. She's pretty young still, so I don't think she even realized how inappropriate that man was being.

I sat at the table shaken. I tried to be cool, but deep down, I knew I probably should have put my b!tchy hat on and told him it was none of his business. I was trying to be calm in front of Briana.

I don't want Briana to feel that being adopted is something that I want to hide from other people or that it is a negative thing. I obviously can't avoid that people will know she is adopted by the fact she is Asian and I am not. But I also don't want to share personal details of my life and/or her life with someone I have never met. I shouldn't even be asked that question because it is really none of anyone's business. I know that is too much to expect though. People are nosy. Very, very nosy. Especially the guy at Subw@y.

So, I know some of you will think I shared too much. Some might think that I handled it as best as I could. I just don't know. I could have asked Briana if it was ok to share her information, but she would never had answered me. She would have just shrugged her shoulders. She is still so young and I know her too well. I could have also asked him why he was asking me. I think I am feeling so uncomfortable about what happened because Briana is starting to understand and process things. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable by me not handling a situation correctly. Being asked the question in the first place is uncomfortable enough. I can't control what anyone else does, but I can control what I do.

I'd love to know how to not be so surprised when it does happen. I KNOW it will happen again. While we were in Hilton Head, Doug was in the elevator with Briana (I wasn't there), a couple asked the infamous "Where is she from?" question to him. Those people ended up having twin nieces from China, but people ask questions even when they have no connection to China or adoption.

I am opening up a big can of worms here, but here it goes...

How would you have handled it?

Black and White Wednesday - My Girl

I'm just crazy about my funny and sassy girl. I took the above shot a few weeks ago.

And I'm posting the below picture in black and white because I just love the reaction from Briana when she received her quilt...



Happy Wednesday everyone!

Conversations With Briana

My girl is a riot. Seriously, she is funny. And kind of crazy. But a good kind of crazy. When Doug was out of town a few weekends ago, I pulled my Flip out and just started recording conversations with Briana. We were out on my back porch and it was raining outside. Let me just say she was full of beans that evening. Like every evening. The videos feature saying the "ABC's", Briana's crazy dance, a pretend phone call to my parents (Gramma and Papa), talking about school and a bunch of other cute stuff.

Enjoy these conversations with Briana...

100 Good Wishes Quilt (Drum Roll Please...)

Voila! Here it is! I am so happy with it - I could seriously cry. The person that made my quilt (Kyra) did an amazing job. I shipped all my fabric to Kyra (she lives in a different state) and she mailed it back. She kept me posted every step of the way with e-mail and pictures. She was amazing to work with.

Here is a top view...

A closer view...

The back (I chose this fun fabric with Chinese lanterns).

This square was too big to place in the quilt, so Kyra made a pillow out of it. It is from one of Briana's SWI sisters. It is so meaningful...

Kyra made another pillow for me out of another neat piece of fabric I got from my mom. It turned out so cute...

Here is Briana seeing the quilt for the first time (yes, she is still in her jammies - it was a laid back Friday morning!)...

Look at that smile...

She rolled and rolled all over it...


She LOVES it...

I want to thank all of you that contributed to Briana's quilt. We love each and every one of you. You will all receive a personal thank you note from me and Briana, but I wanted you all to see how much Briana loves her quilt. And a huge thank you Kyra for caring to much and making it so beautiful.

Our Hilton Head Vacation

It is so hard being back in reality. We had such a wonderful vacation - the weather was amazing and the relaxation was much needed. We had a rough start to our year, so some sun and sand were good medicine. The above picture is the view from our hotel room. We arrived on Saturday and drove back home on Wednesday.

On Day 1, we got to Hilton Head around 3:00PM and immediately headed to the pool. Briana loves, loves, LOVES the water now, so I think swim lessons are in our immediate future.



Day 2, we headed out to the beach early in the morning. Briana romped in the water and made sand castles with Daddy. After a couple hours at the beach, we headed to the pool for lunch and swimming. Below, you will see that Doug actually caught a picture of dolphins swimming in the ocean. For dinner, we went to a restaurant called The Oyster Factory that overlooked the beautiful marsh. That evening Briana watched a few movies...













On Day 3, the weather turned cloudy. We managed to get about an hour in at the beach and then by lunchtime it was raining. You'll see in the beach pictures that the morning was gray. We ate at the Crazy Crab for lunch. Briana ended up with two pink lemonades by mistake, so you'll see below that she made the most of it. :D And then Daddy saved the day by finding an indoor playground on the island and Briana got to play for two hours that afternoon...









After the rainy Monday, Tuesday was perfection. The sun came back and we again spent all morning and early afternoon at the beach and back at the pool. After resting in the room for a little while after the beach and pool, I dressed Briana for her photo shoot. We went to eat at a delicious and quaint Italian restaurant close by and then headed to the beach for the shoot. Funny thing, another couple was doing a photo shoot of their two kids on the beach at the same time. I guess it was the perfect time of the evening for it...






Day 5 - we got up for a quick breakfast and headed back home in the car...

I miss Hilton Head already. Sigh...

Hilton Head Photo Shoot

I took some pictures of Briana on the beach. I'm not a professional by any means, but I think they turned out pretty good for a novice! Enjoy!













































I have regular snapshots of our trip too which I will post in a day or two. I need to catch up on blogs too! Oh my! I'm gonna be busy!

(A sweet lady was walking on the beach and offered to take a couple pictures of the three of us with my camera. That is how I got the photo of Doug, Bri and me!)