I am not going to write too much in this post because honestly, I just don't feel well. I've been to so many doctor and therapy appointments. So Many. I am exhausted.
I know, I know. I say I don't feel well all the time. But I don't, and that's why I haven't written on the blog in three weeks.
I am undergoing PT for my heel and I am slowly progressing. I am walking pretty well. It still hurts a bit to walk though. PT is helping strengthen my leg that got so weak when I was non weight-bearing for 10 weeks. It hurts to go up on my tippy toes. My heel still swells a bit. I have a follow up with my podiatrist tomorrow - I haven't seen him in 3 months.
I am dealing with some other new health issues now that I just don't want to talk about publicly. Nothing that will kill me (hopefully) - just once again, chronic and life-affecting. I am totally in functional freeze. I am doing most of the things I need to do but I am not doing anything I really want to do - because I just can't. It is so tough.
That, along with the state of the country right now, I am a frequent rider on the struggle bus.
Every single thing I hear coming out of Mango Mussolini's mouth and the mouths of all his sycophants makes me want to either curl up into a ball or punch people in the teeth.
I am SO ANGRY that people voted for this. I am pissed every. single. day. And don't tell me I need to just "choose happiness." It is insulting. And I have every f-ing right to be livid. Things have been crazy since January 20th - and no one deserves to live with this kind of chaos and insanity every day.
Do I blame? I absolutely do. We didn't really know for sure what we were getting into the first time (but had a feeling). But we all did (or should have) the second and the third time - and some chose the hateful route again and again. And I am so tired of being gaslit by the right - saying that we aren't seeing the things that we are seeing with our actual eyes. Things we have witnessed firsthand on live television (not through a conservative or liberal filter) like insurrections and n@zi salutes. It is infuriating. And honestly, I cannot believe women voted for this gross bloated old geezer to make decisions for us. I will never ever ever understand.
Briana came home for a couple of days because she needed a little space from school. It did lift my spirits. She got her very first college sickness (coughing, sore throat, stuffiness) and she dealt with it all last week. She really handled it like a champ - though I still had to talk her through some things.
She was very happy when she came home Friday morning...
She still has a lingering, annoying cough and I hope that will dissipate really soon.
Briana wanted to spend a lot of time with both me and Doug these past couple of days. Bri and I particularly spent a lot of time together.
I think when kids go off to school and don't have mom and dad to lean on all the time, a new appreciation develops. I am feeling this so much with B. I know she loved and appreciated us before, but I do think kids get into a pattern of habit and just living life and don't really always think about what their parents do for them. And Bri is hearing/noticing that not all of the kids she goes to school with get or have gotten a ton of support from their parents.
Doug and I would do freaking anything for our kid - to a fault at times. I may not have some huge career to brag about (Briana became my career), but I can say I have been/am a really good mom. Not perfect at all - but really damn good. When your kid comes home and actually wants to hang out with you, you must be doing something ok.
I do have a number of things I want to blog about regarding the month of February - SCAD TVfest, time with friends, Valentine's Day, some school stuff about Bri. I will try to do that soon - I am just trying to pull myself together.
So that is the scoop for now. I wish I could come on here and say I feel fantastic. If that day ever comes, I will shout it from the rooftops.
