Looking Back At 2019

I know - I still have to finish blogging about 2019. I will get to it eventually, but I just haven't felt like it. I don't really have an excuse - just haven't been in the right mind frame. Hoping my mojo comes back soon.

I still want to take a quick look back at 2019 before it turns 2020.

Well, I cannot believe 2020 is almost here. 2019 has been kind of a tough year for me physically and mentally - I'm not gonna lie. But I've been looking back at all the memories Doug, Bri and I made this year, and I truly feel like 2019 was a success overall for us. We spent lots of time with family and friends. Bri became a teenager! We visited New York (twice) and spent a phenomenal week in Maui. Doug went on a dream trip to Thailand. We saw Chinese acrobats, Chinese lanterns and a Chinese New Year parade this year. We saw Phantom of the Opera and Wicked on Broadway (Bri fell in love with both). We went to both the P!nk concert and Queen concert - both were beyond spectacular. We saw Cirque's Volta and it was amazing. We saw two of the biggest movies of the year - the end of a huge chapter for Marvel and the very last Star Wars movie. Bri is doing great in school. She continues to do running club, take guitar lessons and read to doggies. Doug is loving the new job he started this summer. My main goal for 2020 is to focus on getting healthy both physically and mentally. I'm very ready to get started. I hope you all had a great 2019 and hope your 2020 will be even better! Happy New Year!!

Happy Holidays From Our Family To Yours

I cannot believe I have not posted in over a month. I had every intention to do so, but the holidays have been so busy, I just haven't had a chance. And I have so much to blog about. I still haven't even finished blogging about our fall break. Ugh.

I will try to do some catch up after Christmas.

I'm still dealing with my anxiety, but I am hanging in there. Hopefully I will get a grip on it in 2020. I really, really hope so. That is my goal.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and/or Happy Hanukkah! Thank you so much for continuing to follow my adventures!

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Before I get into this post, I want to say a huge "Thank You!" to all of you who commented on my last post (here on the blog or on FB). Just knowing that people understand and care and even have some advice for me is so comforting. I am going to take all of it in and I promise to not make you wait to long for updates on my progress. I will get through this. I always do somehow.

Again - thank you.

As I said in my last post, it is difficult for me sometimes to get the motivation to go out and do things. I often just want to hibernate and keep to myself. But when I do push myself to go out, it usually makes me feel better and I'm always glad I do it. Sometimes sitting and thinking too much can be just as overwhelming. Distraction is a good thing.

My sweet Bri is such an introvert nowadays. Maybe it's because she is an "only" - and I am so happy she can entertain herself and enjoys her solitude. But, sometimes I have to push her to go out and have a good time with friends too! She could literally just "chill" in her tween room all weekend happily watching YouTube videos, playing guitar, drawing her pictures or reading. I sometimes have to kick her out of that room - LOL!

So here is a post about what we've been doing with our friends lately.

Briana has enjoyed some girl time with her girlfriends over the last couple months. We had a delicious dinner Thai with Kira, Mary came over to our house to hang out for a few hours, and both Mary and Meredith joined Bri and read to some doggies a couple of weeks ago...

Over fall break, we joined the C family at Medieval Times. The kids (and parents) had a great time (I will do a separate post on that adventure!)...

One Saturday in October, Bri's best bud from school Jackson asked her to join him, his sister and his sister's friend at a local farm and corn maze. They had such a fun time and I wish I could have been there. Both Bri and Jackson's mom sent me some great photos, so I was able see all the fun they were having...

At the end of October, Doug, Bri and I attended our annual China adoption family Halloween pumpkin carving party. It was so much fun. It's always good to catch up with everyone who we haven't seen in a while. And the kids always have such a good time. It has become one of our favorite Halloween traditions. (I will do a separate post on this as well).

Here are all the kids over the years...

And I already blogged about this, but Doug, Bri and I had a great evening in October with my sis, BIL and my nephews at the International Night Market...

 Doug and I also had a great evening with our friend's Amy and Kevin recently. There's nothing better than getting together to drink wine and eat tapas at one of our favorite restaurants...

And I have had a few coffee talks, lunches and dinners recently with some of my closest girlfriends. I don't always get photos when I do meet my girlfriends, but I do always love their company.

I did manage to snap a few pics from a few different nights that I had out with some of my besties...

When I do get to feeling kind of down sometimes, these are the people that lift my spirits again. And for that, I am grateful.

So, I am going to keep going out once in a while, make sure I have good time and stay connected to my friends. (And make B do the same thing!)

Ok - my next posts will be about Medieval Times, apple picking during fall break and then all things Halloween. Good grief Briana had the coolest costume! All that coming soon!

An Update On Me

 I interrupt my regularly scheduled Briana/family blogging to talk a little about myself.

I always feel weird writing about myself on this blog because it's a place where I share stories about Briana and our family and friends. I don't like to use it as a place to talk about my deep thoughts or troubles. I'm considering opening a new blog and focusing on other things in my life - especially now that Bri is getting older and I don't want to deep dive into her private life in public. If you've noticed, I keep things pretty light on here now. Things we do together, vacations, holidays, school updates, etc. I get Bri's approval on what I can and cannot talk about. There is a lot that I don't share on here - and that is ok because some things need to be kept quiet.

Going back to me talking about myself here...it just feels strange. But, since it is the only blog I have right now, I will just have to do it here.

Overall, my life is good. Bri is doing great. Doug is doing great. Me - I'm struggling. And it stinks because when I look at my life, I have a great life. I have a roof over my head, food on my plate, the daughter of my dreams, people who love me - so what is there to be unhappy about?

Except I am. I do deal with a constant underlying unhappiness. And I literally cannot help it.

Because of different experiences that have happened in my life, I now have big time anxiety (which sometimes triggers depression). Anxiety that can be kind of debilitating at times.

This is a great explanation...

 

I really relate to the part where it says "It's about caring about everything and then caring about nothing." It is SO true. I worry so much about everything that I become overwhelmed. And when I become overwhelmed, I often feel like shutting down.

I'm 46 years old. And I feel 46 years old. For some reason, I have been plagued over the years with some crazy weird illnesses that still cause some chronic discomfort for me. And when I get flair ups, it causes me big time anxiety. And I am just freaking tired of being uncomfortable in my own body.

This is so true...

When I start dwelling on things that don't really matter in the big scheme of things, I try to remember this - but it's hard sometimes.

I've become that person who always waits for the next shoe to drop. A "worst case scenario" girl. And not just when it comes to health, but life in general. I think it is because I have had many instances throughout my life where I was told something was a possible "worst case scenario" and then that scenario happened. So, now I find that I now am constantly bracing myself for the worst to happen. 

And it sucks. It makes life pretty exhausting.

The good news (if you can say this is good news) is that I do realize this is a battle that I face each and every day - and I am trying to do something about it. And it is going to take some time. But if it is ok, I'll keep how I'm dealing with all this private for now.

I'm not saying that I am never happy. I do go out and have fun. Making myself to go out and have a good time is a great distraction. Sitting and thinking too much about everything isn't good for me at all. But even with distraction, my mind does come back to the "worry" eventually.

Honestly, I have really debated about putting this "out there." I don't want people to think I am crazy (well, I am kind of crazy - but you know what I'm saying). I have found blogging and being open and honest very therapeutic for me, so I am just laying it out there. Suffering in silence isn't really for me.

There will be some of you out there who will completely relate to where I'm coming from with this. And some of you won't - and believe me, if you don't relate to this, you are extremely lucky. But, maybe this post will help you understand it a little bit more what anxiety sufferers go through.

So, wish me luck or say a little prayer for me that I can conquer this somehow.

Now I will return you to regularly scheduled blogging. Heh.

International Night Market/Chinese Lanterns and Acrobats

At the beginning of October, Doug, Bri and I met my sister, brother-in-law and two nephews at the International Night Market which was held in the parking area of a local mall. There was an array of international vendors selling food, drink and souvenirs. And this year, the International Night Market added Illuminate Georgia (Chinese Lanterns) and the Chinese Acrobats to their festivities! 

This was a great addition to our Autumn Moon Festival celebrations...

International Night Market...

The fried soba noodles we had for dinner were absolutely delicious...

We entered a separate fenced area to view the lanterns and acrobats...

The acrobats were so fun to watch. My nephews absolutely loved them...

Here are some acrobatics in motion...

The lanterns are always so beautiful...

Click on the collages to make them larger...

We spent a few hours walking around the market and then it got more and more crowded. It was time to leave. We all walked into the mall for a few minutes for a bathroom break and to catch our breath...

I'm so glad we got to experience the acrobats and the lantern with my nephews. They really enjoyed it! And of course Bri did too! We will definitely do this again next year!!

I am SO behind in my blogging. I need to catch you all up on fall break, school happenings and all things Halloween! Lots to write about!

More Of Briana's Artwork

I definitely think it is time to show off some more if Miss B's amazing artwork. She loves watching online tutorials and practices drawing all the time. Her favorite markers are Copic and she has quite a nice collection of them now. Here are some of her amazing creations...

Here's something really amazing...

Briana drew the "Funneh Krew" over a year ago - and this is what she did...

Fast forward one year - and this is what she is doing now...

I'm really proud of her. I believe she will find a career in art someday. I hope she is able to follow her passion and make a great living doing it! Loving what you do makes life good!