Baby Briana

I love the amazing little girl Briana has become. Sometimes though, I miss my baby Briana.

Sweet Little Snow Bunny

I told Briana that she looked like a little snow bunny wearing this sweater.

Gaw, I love this kid.

What Does My Future Hold? (A Bit Of Reflection)

I've been doing some reflecting lately. Maybe it is because I am turning 40 soon. I think I am trying to figure out "what's next" for me. What I will do over the next decade? I spent my twenties working outside the home for a living and learning how to be a good wife. I spent my thirties working outside the home, struggling for a child and eventually learning how to be a mom. I left a job that I did for seven years and that I really liked for another job that I absolutely love ~ full-time mom. It is the hardest job I have ever had in my life but it is also the most fulfilling. Nothing I have done in my entire life has been as fulfilling as being Briana's mom. 

Nothing.

Right now, Briana is pretty much my world - which I really enjoy. But as she gets older, she won't need me as much. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life outside of her. I could possibly go back to what I did before (support and advertising for a real estate company), but it isn't exactly what I pictured myself doing when I was in college. I thought I would go into social work or counseling (I have a psych degree). As I was finishing up with college, I figured out that social work paid very little (and I was getting married and wanted to buy a house) and counseling required a lot more schooling.

I busted my tush in school. I got good grades and I was in advanced classes in high school. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from college. By the time I was done with all that, I was totally burned out. I was in love, ready to get married, wanted to get a job and was ready to just start living my life. I landed in a staffing job (HR) and did that for a short time. After a year and a half, I realized I hated staffing and quit the job to save my sanity (and Doug's). I decided to interview for an administrative position at a real estate company because I really needed a job and I needed to figure out what to do next. I got the job, but I wasn't really happy at that company and ended up moving after a year to another real estate company. And I spent 7 years there. So that is how the whole real estate thing happened - kind of by accident. And in the midst of my whole identity crisis, I thought "I'll have a baby!" - that will be NO big deal. Heh - you all know what happened next. 

Six years of struggle.

I think I always knew in the back of my mind that I wanted to stay home for a few years to raise children. My mom was a stay at home mom ~ it was just something I was accustomed to and I liked the thought of doing. And when it took so long to bring Briana home, it just solidified how much I wanted to be home with my baby. I finally had the child that I wanted so desperately. I didn't want to miss a thing. Financially, Doug and I could make it work. So, that is what we did.

I guess you could say that I am in my dream job right now. But I know that my role in the "company" will be "reduced" at some "point in the future." I'm not sure when I will be "phased out." Heh. That scares me a bit - hence the need to find something else that I am passionate about.

I am quite content because Doug is so happy in his job. I think it is a dream job for him . It is a mix of internet security (which is totally what I thought he would end up doing) and sales as well (which isn't at all what I thought he would be doing). He loves it and he gets to travel a bit. He gets to interact with lots of different people and the job supports our family - and that is a good thing.

Before I decided on the whole psychology/social work focus in college, I dreamed of being in the fashion industry. I always told everyone that I wanted to be a fashion coordinator (I LOVED fashion) - which is what I guess you would call a stylist today. So now that Briana is expressing an interest in something I loved so much growing up, it really gets me excited. I hope she gets to pursue the dream that I didn't. I have told Briana about my dream to be in the fashion industry. She said "now you are just a mom." True I guess.

But I wear the title of "mom" as a badge of honor. 

I'm not perfect at being a mom. I am the first one to admit that I make mistakes. I lose my temper sometimes. I don't feel like being on a six year old level sometimes. I am tired sometimes (ok, all the time, but remember Briana is my kid - heh). Then I look at the job I am doing. I see what a great kid Bri is. So, I think I am doing my job pretty well - so far.

I was just downstairs watching Briana dancing to the "Sofia the First" theme song. Gosh I love everything about this age. Six is amazing. I love that Bri can talk to me and make me laugh. I love that she is still so innocent. I love that everything in her life right now is princesses, unicorns and rainbows. I love that everything fascinates her. I love when she jumps into the car and tells me that she learned about dehydration in class. I love that life has not tainted her yet. 

And sadly life taints as we get older. It's just life.

I get scared thinking about raising a child in this crazy world of social media. This isn't something I had to deal with growing up. Social media can be a great thing, but it can be devastating too. Every thought and every opinion can be posted instantly by someone and read in mere seconds by others. People that wouldn't necessarily say something nasty to someone's face feel protected by typing it on a keyboard in the privacy of their own home. Preaching and/or expressing an opinion over and over seems totally justified because you are typing it in your own space (example FB walls). It is so overwhelming to me at times.

I see people behaving badly and getting rewarded for it. It is so sad. We are bombarded with nasty political elections, 24 hours news cycles and too many celebrity sightings to count. Shows like "The Bachelor", "Real Housewives" and the lovely new "Plastic Wives" are being advertised and revered as something people should actually pay attention to. I turned off "American Idol" for the first time after 11 seasons because of the two diva judges on the show that decided to make the show about themselves rather than the contestants. Again, bad behavior everywhere. Whenever I find a smart new show on TV, it is cancelled for some reason, while shows like "Snooki and Jwow" last for seasons. Please understand that I am human. I am certainly not perfect. I do sometimes find myself channel surfing and stopping on "Honey Boo Boo." Then I realize what I am doing and wonder why the heck I was watching that train wreck of a show. And I look at these "reality" shows and think, what is wrong with this world? Why are we dumbing ourselves down like this?

Whoops, I kind of got off on a tangent there. Getting back on point now...

Whatever I decide to do in the future will be part-time. Because I know that I want (need) to be around enough to make sure Briana isn't being overtaken by this big bad world we live in. But I also want (need) to do find something I love to do and contribute something to this world besides an awesome kid (which I totally know she will be). The thing you have to know about me is that I can do different things, but I can't do any of them amazingly well. I can take a pretty picture, but it isn't going to be extraordinary. I can cook, but I am not going to be featured in any sort of cooking magazine. I can paint, but I will accidentally go outside the lines. I am not really an expert in anything. So many times I wish I was.

So as you can see, I have had a bunch of thoughts rattling around in my head. I just needed to spit them out and write them down.

So as 40 approaches, what the heck does my future hold?

I haven't got a freakin' clue.

A Bit Of This and That

This post is going to be quite random. Definitely a bit of this and that.

Briana uses Doug's old iPad as her own now and it had a bunch of apps and documents on it that she didn't play with or look at. I went in an cleaned it all up a few days ago. I pulled a ton of screen shots off of it and put on a few new movies for her. As I was removing the pictures and screen shots, I came across the above picture. I'm not exactly sure what program she used to take it, but it was so cool. Gosh, look at her lips. I would love to have beautiful, pouty lips like that.

And below, Briana was showing me how to meditate one day before doing her homework. She said that this is how people relax in China. Heh. So whenever she is being timed for her fluency words, she now uses this technique to calm herself before she starts. She is the biggest hoot...

As you know, Miss B was not feeling the best on Monday and Tuesday. She had her yearly checkup with her pediatric ophthalmologist Tuesday morning. The appointment took twice at long as I thought (she had to have her eyes dilated), so I am so glad I made the call anyway to take her home once the appointment was over. B said she was STARVING after the appointment, so we made a quick stop at Panera Bread for some soup. We sat and ate for a short while and amazingly another China adoption mom and her adorable son came in and sat right next to us. We introduced ourselves and had a nice talk. It was so nice to meet her!

After lunch, I got Bri back in the car and made the trek home (the doctor is about 35 minutes away). My daughter that NEVER sleeps in the day looked like this on the way home...

 The good news about Bri's appointment is that her eyes are working together now wonderfully. Last year, the doctor was a bit concerned that B's right eye was slightly weak and that she might need to wear a patch. But, he didn't feel that the eye was weak enough to warrant that. He says now that the eye has corrected itself. With a slight adjustment of Briana's glasses (I pick up her new lenses next week), Bri should be able to see 20/20 with her glasses. I asked what her vision is now when she is not wearing them. He said she is around 20/40 or 20/50 in each eye. There is no doubt she needs glasses.

Before Bri started feeling badly, we had our friends Khalid, Ansu and Kira over to watch the Falcons in the NFC Championship on Sunday night. We were disappointed the Falcons lost, but we still had a fun night. The girls played in Bri's playroom and watched some TV...

On Friday, I finally did something for myself. I always put myself last on the list when it comes to any type of pampering - other than a chiropractic adjustment once in a while.

I finally got my hair cut and colored after 10 months of neglecting myself...

The second picture is the truer color. Boy - it is so nice to get rid of those pesky gray hairs! I know I am almost 40, but I don't need my hair to reflect it!

 Saturday night, Doug and I had a date night! And Miss B went over to Gramma and Papa's house for a sleepover. We went to a delicious restaurant and for dessert, I ordered these yummy hot fudge covered cream puffs. To die for...

I am sure my mom took a billion photos of Bri's sleepover Saturday night/Sunday morning. As soon as she sends them to me, I will post a few.

We are at the end of the week now and I am hearing that it could possibly ice over some in my neck of the woods tomorrow. Ice is the worst. So I am really hoping that is won't happen!!!

100th Day Of School

Miss Briana went to her 100th day of school on Friday. She and I worked on this shirt together last week. Of course, she wanted 100 jewels on her shirt - she must sparkle daily. They did all sorts of 100 crafts and activities that day.

Briana attended every single day during these 100 days of school this year. She has never missed a day of school (in kindergarten or 1st grade). Well, until today.

She has an eye doctor appointment today (checkup) - and a cold. We are going to the appointment this morning and then back home. There is no point in rushing over to school after the appointment if she isn't feel well. And no point in giving germs to all her classmates.

It will be pretty chilly here today (nothing compared to what the north is experiencing right now though), so it will be a good day to curl up in bed when we get home.

Doug's Actual Birthday

Doug's actual birthday was on Sunday. It was a quiet day - which is what Doug wanted. I decorated the kitchen a bit for him...

Doug wanted to go to one of his favorite restaurants for dinner and we invited my parents to join us...

Briana kept wanting to snuggle with Gramma...

Me and my guy...

I requested for us to have a table by the fireplace...

Then we came back home and ate cake and opened gifts...

As you know, my parents' anniversary was on Thursday, but Briana wanted to give them her gift early. So they received their beautiful portrait by Miss B...

It was a nice quiet end to a very busy weekend. 

(And the Falcons beat the Seahawks that day - which was a super cool bonus!!!)

Happy 43rd Wedding Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my parents who are celebrating 43 years of marriage today.

(Picture compliments of Miss B who drew this portrait and painted the frame for Gramma and Papa for the special occasion.)

Legoland Discovery Center (Star Wars Day)

What can I say? Legos and Star Wars all in one place. On Doug's 40th birthday weekend. The mother ship called us home. *Snort*

When my sister forwarded me an e-mail a couple of weeks ago saying that the Legoland Discovery Center was having "Star Wars" weekend on Doug's 40th birthday weekend, I knew it was the perfect thing to do. So that Saturday morning, we headed out.

The center is located in an upscale mall in the Atlanta area...

When you enter the facility, you are greeted by all things Lego...

We got Briana this cool activity pack. She had to stamp it at every area she visited at the center. If she visited every area, she would receive a prize at the end of the visit (which ended up being two cool buttons)...

Chewbacca greeted us at the door...

He led us to an area that had a cool ride/game - it kind of reminded me of the "Toy Story" ride at Disney's Hollywood Studios...

After the ride, we went to the Atlanta Lego room. You could see all the main visitor attractions of the Atlanta area in Lego form - Stone Mountain, the stadiums, Centennial Olympic Park and more. Except that weekend, Atlanta had been invaded by Star Wars...

Poor droids got run over by the Marta train...

Once through the Atlanta room, you entered the main Lego area with a number of stations to stop at...

They had a cool ride called "Merlin's Apprentice"...

There was a little room we entered where the kids could put Legos on a little square and add it to a big picture...

Bri pointing to her piece. I never did find out what the picture ended up being...

The girl Lego section (we actually spent the least amount of time there)...

The build your own Lego racer station... 

Look at Bri keeping up with all those boys...

There was a cool 4D movie...

And there was also an indoor play area that Briana really enjoyed.

(A quick side note though - you can definitely tell the well-mannered kids verses the not-so-well-mannered kids when you observe a play area. There was one swinging type ball that the kids could swing on in this area. There were two brothers (that were old enough to know better) that kept hogging and stealing the ball from the other kids waiting in line to ride on it. Bri managed to get on it a couple of times, but she spent a ton of time waiting for her turn again because of the boys refusing to get off of it. I finally called across the area to her to stop waiting and just play on something else because those kids didn't know how to share. And do you know where their parents were? Yeah - I'm not sure either. I did see a few people sitting on benches texting. I'll make a huge bet they were sitting there.)

I had to call Briana out of the play area because the main attraction was heading in the door ~

 The Star Wars characters!!!

Briana loved seeing everyone - except for Darth Vader. She was scared by him a bit...

I think Doug may have been even a bit more excited to see the characters walk in than Briana. Heh.

We were there around 2.5 hours and it started to get sooo crowded. So, we did a little shopping at the Lego store and then we headed across the mall to Johnny Rockets (which was delicious by the way)...

 

I love the little happy faces they make with ketchup. And it was perfect because we all had smiles on our faces after such a fun morning. :)