FCCA Wait Dinner

Saturday night we went to our first potluck dinner with the FCCA Wait Group. It was hosted by the owners Todd and Amy of Lil' River Grill in Lawrenceville, GA. They are waiting parents of a China baby too. Well, it actually ended up not being a potluck. Since just a few couples were able to attend, instead of bringing food, we all ended up just sitting outside on the patio and ordering food. And I am so glad we did! The food was excellent! I definitely recommend the Crab Macaroni and Cheese.

One of the couples in attendance, Celeste and Dodd, brought their four daughters - two are adopted from China. Autumn and Jade are absolutely amazing and seeing those little girls helps me keep my eyes on the prize!

We all ended up talking for hours. It was so nice meeting new people (and new friends!).

New Outfit

This is the first non consignment outfit I have now for Briana! My mom saw it and just couldn't resist buying it. She surprised me with it last week. Oh boy - just wait until Briana gets here if my mom can't resist now!

It is the cutest outfit ever!

CCAA Website

The CCAA updated their site to say officially that they only got through July 22, 2005.

And they still have not updated the review room! It still says October! I am just glad my agency says we are through.

The review room changed to say "before October 31, 2005" 66 days ago! I think November is an enormous month for dossiers.

Very Few Referrals

Well according to the chat groups and rumor boards, it seems that people are starting to receive their referrals. Last month referrals arrived on July 31, and people logged in from June 29 - July 13, 2005 received referrals. It is August 25, and it seems that people logged in from July 14 - July 22, 2005 are getting referrals.

That is only nine days of matching. Last month was 15 days. Things seem to be getting worse not better. June was a huge month for dossiers. That is why everyone was holding their breath to get through June and had high hopes for July. July is much smaller, and the China adoption community thought things might finally speed up. Yet here we are, worse than last month. I have absolutely no idea when we will get to China now.

There is no doubt in my mind that Doug and I will have to renew our home study and reapply for our I-797 (immigration approval). This will probably cost over $1000. I hate that we are being penalized for something that is completely out of our control. It's just not fair.

And, the CCAA still hasn't updated their site! At least give me that!

My Most Cherished Gifts

Since starting the China adoption process, I (and Doug) have received several gifts that really have meant the world to me.

The very first gift I received was a doll that my dad bought in Chinatown when he was on a business trip in San Franciso. Doug and I had just decided to adopt from China. He gave it to me for my birthday last year with a note saying to give the doll to his future granddaughter when she gets home - a first gift from her new grandfather. It was one of the nicest gifts I ever received. Talk about water works!

My sister also gave me a book on my birthday last year called "Why I Chose You". It is a wonderful book about adoption. She also gave me a beautiful note with the book explaining that she believes that Doug and I were chosen to go on this special journey. My sister is an amazing writer. Water works again!




My mom has been one of our biggest support systems through all of our fertility disappointments and our adoption process. I don't know what I
would do without her. This is a clock she gave me to remind me to "rejoice in the journey" of this adoption.





My mom also gave me this glass figurine of a flamingo because flamingos are patient birds. This is her note telling me my "China Doll" is on her way.


Doug bought me this scrapbook (and brag book) that I will use as Briana's lifebook. I saw it online and thought it was beautiful. He ordered and surprised me with it a few months ago. He is the best hubby! I can't wait to start creating Briana's lifebook!



My brother-in-law Wes and my sister-in-law Ann gave Doug and me this beautiful wall hanging for Christmas. They bought in Hawaii from a local Asian artist. It is hanging proudly in our family room!



This is a baby doll that my close friend Carole gave me. She said that she gave me a doll with dark hair because Briana will be a brunette! I think this doll will be going to China with me!



And lastly, this is a pair of ladybug socks and ladybug barrettes that my friend Kathy (fellow future mommy) bought me. We were looking at clothes in Gymboree a few months back, and I was not ready to buy any clothing for Briana. She needed to buy socks and hairclips for a swap. She bought a number of socks and barrettes, and she asked the sales clerk for an extra bag. She was buying for several people, so I didn't think anything of it. When we exited the store, she put this pair of socks and barrettes in the extra bag and told me to hang on to it. She made me want to cry again! (Sensing a pattern?)



All of these gifts (and the people who gave them to me) mean the world to me! Thank you, thank you!

My Fear and Reluctance

I have been very reluctant to buy anything for Briana until Doug's and my dossier made it through the review room. I also have had a really hard time accepting baby and baby-related gifts from my friends and family since deciding to adopt from China. I really envy those women who know whole-heartedly and without a doubt that their China babies will be coming home soon.

I had a miscarriage in 2002, and after that I had 4 failed IUI attempts and 1 failed IVF attempt. I know adoption is the answered prayer for Doug and me to start our family, but after so many heartbreaks, allowing myself to believe that nothing will go wrong with this adoption has been really tough for me. I am afraid to start feeling excited and happy just to have the bottom drop out from under me. I hate that I brace myself for disappointment. Unfortunately, the extending China wait times and the constant rumors of China rejecting dossiers have not helped matters.

Over the last several weeks knowing that November dossiers were almost through review, I started feeling slightly more confident. I have taken baby steps (and still am taking baby steps) in allowing myself to believe that this adoption process will have a very happy ending. Going to my first consignment sale was a very big step for me, and I want to thank Kathy for showing me how fun it can be! Even starting this blog was a big move forward.

Since I started this blog halfway into my process instead of at the beginning like a lot of waiting parents, I may go back in time every once in a while and talk about adoption related stuff that happened before I started this blog. So make sure you keep checking in!

My Agency Newsletter

Children's Home Society sends out an electronic newsletter every month to keep everyone in the China program updated. The newsletter actually stated that November is out of the review room! Here's what it said, "Families with log-in dates through July 13th have been matched, so families with log-in dates of July 14th through November 2005 have all moved through review and now await matching." This is so great! (But I still want to see it on the CCAA website - it's a mental thing!)

They also addressed the stressful wait. Of course, it is the same thing I have heard for months from them. They said, " As you already know, there has been a growing length of the waiting period between log-in and referral dates since last November. The current wait time is 13 months, and we anticipate that this trend will continue and we have seen no indication yet of when it will stabilize or reverse. This ebb and flow in waiting time is natural and expected in international adoptions. In the past we have seen the wait for China go as high as 18 months and as low as 6 months. Unfortunately, wait times are unpredictable, and all anybody or any agency can do is monitor the current situation and estimate from this what the near future for wait times might be. We here at CHSFS will continue to keep you informed about the status of the waiting time. " Blah, blah, blah.

Of course the wait started extending as soon as Doug and I were logged in the system! Feels like all my friends' kids will be applying for college before I get Briana home. But I keep being told that good things come to those who wait. How about those who wait and wait and wait and wait? Ha!

Well, I am still very happy about jumping this huge hurdle. The wait is officially on!

My Agency Says We're Through Review

My agency (Children's Home Society in Minnesota) gives families in the China Adoption Program updates once a week via recorded voice mail message. I checked the message last night and it said that November dossiers are through the review room!

It is not posted on the CCAA website yet (which I REALLY want to see), but this is really good news! It means China approved our paperwork, and we just need to be matched up with our baby!

Lunch with the Girls

I had lunch date today with my friends Kathy & Randi (and Randi's son Jack), but this time we added a new friend Jackie (who is also waiting for her first baby girl from China) & Randi's friend Melissa (who joined us with her two little girls, Emilie and Leah, who were adopted from China). Melissa brought her second daughter home about two months ago. What beautiful little girls! When I see how wonderful these girls are, I know that all this waiting will be worth it in the end.

We ate at Fajitas Mexican Restaurant (yum!) & chit chatted mostly about China, adoption waits and babies.

I can't wait for the day when we have a lunch date and we can all bring our little girls to the party!

Big Toy Sale

Kathy and I hit a consignment sale for "big toys" early Saturday morning. When my alarm went off at 6:30, I couldn't believe I was waking up that early on a Saturday to go toy shopping.

The sale was located at a house with a very large backyard in a quiet neighborhood. Well, I am sure it is quiet on a normal day. Kathy pulled into the neighborhood right in front of me (around 7:55 - what timing!) and there were already cars parked everywhere. The gate was opening at 8AM sharp. We stood in a long line of eager parents ready to pounce on the best bargins. The woman in charge of the sale passed around stickers that said "sold" on them so we could claim our finds and still be able to walk around looking for more goodies.

The gate opened and everyone started to swarm. Kathy went on her way, and I went to the Lego tables immediately. (I live with a Lego enthusiast, so I know that will go over big in my house.) I found a cute Lego table in good condition - sold! Then I found a cute piano that played all sorts of tunes. When Doug saw it, he called it "baby's first synthesizer". Last, I found a cute kitchen set. When you hit certain buttons, the faucet sounds like water, the burner sizzles, etc.

I did well with my finds, but Kathy did much better! She found seven items that fit the bill! Thank goodness she brought an SUV because she needed a lot of room and we had to do some creative packing! I would hold the packed items in the car as she shoved more in! It was so funny! Here is a picture of Kathy's backseat...

I would say the day was quite a success!

Nine Months

I am nine months "paper pregnant" today. If matching had stayed on course from when we first signed on for adoption, we would have been in China right now. We were told 7 months from LID to referral and then two more months until travel.

It is like 150 degrees in China right now, so I am kind of glad we are not there in August. I think if referrals speed up a little, we might hit China in the winter, and if they don't, maybe spring. All I know is that we better be in China before next summer!

July Referrals

The CCAA changed their website today to say that they sent referrals to families whose paperwork was logged in China through July 13, 2005. The cut off last month was July 28th, 2005. So, they matched only two weeks of log in dates - again.

And unfortunately, as you can see, they did not update the review room. It still says they are finished through October 31. I hope in the next week or two that China will say they are finally through reviewing November dossiers.

Because the CCAA moved their offices a few weeks ago, referrals were delayed. We usually hear news on referrals around the 3rd week or 4th week of the month. It is August 2nd, and they are just officially announcing referrals now. The China adoption community is hoping that referrals for August will get back on schedule, and maybe they will be given out in about three weeks. I am crossing my fingers!