Sometimes when we celebrate Bri's heritage (we just visited the Hangzhou exhibit on Sunday), it really gets her thinking. She was watching Curious George on TV Monday afternoon. She turned around to me after the show with tears in her eyes and a quivering voice, "Where are Curious George's parents?" I asked her if she meant his monkey parents. She said yes. I told her I wasn't sure and that I didn't believe they ever addressed it in the cartoon. I asked her who his daddy is now and she said "The Man With The Yellow Hat."
I asked why she seemed upset. And then I asked her if she was upset because she was thinking about herself. Still with a shaky voice, she turned it around on me and asked why I asked her that. But she quickly added, "Is it because I lost my China parents and my whole China family?" I said yes. I sat her on my lap and told her it is hard to lose one family to gain another. And I said it was ok to have whatever feelings she had about it. She said, "I wish I could meet my Chinese grandma." I said I did too. I sadly had to add that it is very possible that we may never find her China family. But then I reassured her that I would love her forever and ever. And I also added that no matter how crazy she makes me that I will always love her. That made her laugh.
I've never heard her use the word "lost" before. It is a word that I have not used in front of her before when referring to her China family. She is now really realizing that she had to lose something in order to gain something else. It is hard to hear her use that word, though it is a reality.
I am really glad Briana talks to me. Bri is a very emotional and introspective child. And though her statement didn't blindside me like some of her other statements have before (I feel mostly prepared for questions and statements now), the conversations she and I have on this topic never get easier.
