78 Weeks Behind Us (Yes Another Update)

 78.

 

78 weeks since coronavirus hit the state of Georgia full force.

 

I stopped counting the weeks on this blog in June. I realize now I probably shouldn't have stopped counting.

 

For some of you, this might be a "here she goes again" post. And you are not wrong - it pretty much is that kind of post. Yes, I do sound a bit like a broken record. I am definitely talking about this pandemic once again - sadly. My frustration level is starting to bubble up again and writing down my thoughts helps. The pandemic is still very much a substantial part of my life and I can't ignore that.

Yes, I'm still quite angry. Yes, I am really tired. Yes, I am very disappointed. Yes, I am quite disheartened.

There was a glimmer of hope in the summer when the pandemic quieted down a bit. I actually took my mask off more often. I went on a vacation. I thought maybe, just maybe, there was going to be some sort of end to this. The delta variant squashed that bit of hope pretty quickly. I am kind of angry at myself for letting my guard down, but I realize that is silly. I am vaccinated, so I do have a layer of protection from this and I don't feel as nervous going places now as I did before I had the vaccine.

 

I won't go back to doing weekly updates because it's just too depressing. But, I've decided to do this one "vent" post to get things off my chest - cause it's been a little while. And it is kind of funny to think about people I disconnected from on social media who said all this covid talk would stop last November around election time. I stated how ridiculous that was - and it totally was. A lot of things I have said this past year and a half have been pretty spot on. Honestly, I wish I didn't need to write another post like this - not with vaccine readily available in the states. But, here I am.

Look at this graph for GA...

In Georgia, numbers are just as bad now as they were back in the winter. How is this even possible when there is a vaccine? I look at this and just feel sick. Why can people take advice from actual experts? Listen to doctor and nurse friends tirelessly working in covid units and ICUs?

 

Personally...I watched a FB friend for a number of weeks (Bri's former preschool director) battle covid - go on a vent in the hospital and miraculously come off of it too - alive. It was not an easy journey for her at all, but she is coming back from it. She has a long road ahead of her, but she is doing well and is a fighter for sure. I have observed too many covid survivors become "long haulers." I have seen too many children become really sick lately. I have witnessed so many friends and acquaintances lose relatives and friends to this virus. I'm 48 years old and I have never in my life seen the amount of loss caused by one virus. This is not like bird flu, SARS or H1N1 - the scale of this is so much worse. Over 660K people have died in the U.S. alone from this virus since the beginning of this pandemic...

 

Those who act like they are not seeing the loss happening around them or proclaim to have not been touched by it in some way are purposely ignoring what is happening or they are lying to themselves and everyone around them.

 

A lot of people in my neck of the woods are still refusing to get vaccinated and refusing to have their kids vaccinated (the ones who are eligible), so this delta variant is pretty much everywhere around here now. Those who refuse to get vaccinated also refuse to wear a mask. It's unreal.

There is a GA woman on FB (a relative of a FB connection of mine) who has a brother in MS who has been on a ventilator for almost a month now due to covid and he is not improving (she makes her posts on FB public, so I can see them). No doubt her brother is unvaccinated. If he had been, he most likely could have avoided this. Yet still, this woman has a frame on her FB profile pic saying no to the vaccine, that she trusts her immune system and it's her body, her choice (which I'm pretty positive is only regarding the vaccine and not women's rights). How can she still subscribe to this thought process now when her brother is so very sick and possibly dying? Because there are propaganda-filled forces telling her the opposite of the truth and she is blindly believing it...

 

It's difficult to challenge or educate those who are so belligerent...

And for those attacking F@uci...

  

Sometimes truth is very difficult to accept I guess...

 I just wish people remembered this...

To give you all a bit of perspective about how Georgia is doing with all of this delta variant stuff...

ICU's are almost completely full here. Look at the southeast verses everywhere else.

I pray no one in my family gets super sick with something other than covid because there probably won't be a hospital bed readily available at this time.

**********************

As you all know, Bri is back in school. She went the first couple of weeks without a mask hoping the vaccine alone would be good enough, but the daily covid numbers at the school started creeping up (we had 20 cases reported in ONE day at her school alone, and I can pretty much guarantee not everyone reports being sick). When that started happening, B voluntarily chose to put her mask on, even though she is vaccinated. Very, very few kids are wearing masks to her school. And we are quite confident that a LOT of students aren't vaccinated either. So, B puts a mask on each day now for an extra layer of protection and doesn't really think about it - which is a blessing. I am very proud of how confident she has been about all of this. I am not sure I would have felt the same way at her age.

 Right before she put her mask on at school, she unknowingly passed a head cold to me and Doug (she felt bad it happened, but we told her not to stress at all about it). She had a runny nose for a couple of days, so we figured it was just allergies because she never felt sick (I gave her a home covid test at the time anyway to be on the safe side - it was negative). Doug and I then got sick a few days after that around the same time. We then realized she did probably have a cold ("regular stuff" is obviously still out there). Doug was just a bit stuffy and a little worn down with it. Me - I was out of commission for about 5 days. I took several home covid tests during my sickness and all were negative. 

But this is why I am still nervous about covid. My immune system has already already proven many times that it is not the strongest - even when I was young, I came down with some really unusual things. Whatever comes through our house, I always get hit the worst. Covid would probably hit me super hard - even vaccinated.

 Bri luckily had put her mask on in the nick of time when a kid sitting right next to her in culinary class came down with covid about three weeks ago. And a kid at the next table (who had been coughing for days according to B) had it too. After only 4 weeks of going to school, Bri got the "close contact" notification.

I have been updating on FB about it...

Bri was summoned out of her American Lit class and sent to the vice principal's office. The vp notified her about the close contact, but he would not reveal to her which student was sick or what class caused the close contact. He then called me with her in the office to give me "options" about how Bri could continue with her schooling - asking me if she needed to go home or go back to class. Told me the "supposed" covid rules we had to follow. I told him she is vaccinated and she's already masking, so just send her back to class. I said she would continue to mask.

I told Bri she would be easily able to figure out where the close contact happened because of kids quarantining and wearing masks the next day around her. And that's exactly how she figured it out.

 The notification that day was an overblown "production" to make it "look" like the school administration is doing "something" about covid spread when they actually aren't doing much of anything at all. It still makes me angry to think about what they put B through that day. Really for nothing...

I definitely have moments of regret and question if we made the right decision regarding Bri going to this particular school...

 

But somehow overall, Bri still seems happy enough despite all the hubbub going on around her at school. She's getting good grades, she likes her teachers and her classes, she's talking to kids at school. For that, I am happy. So, I am trying to be ok with our decision. I'll just keep hoping and praying we don't get sick again (with covid or anything else).

*********************************

 

I also continue to deal with being in the minority when it comes to a number of issues where I live. I am still struggling mentally/emotionally with it for sure. But, I am here for the time-being, and I just have to deal with it.

 I wrote this on FB couple of weeks ago...

I do need this pandemic to end.

 

I am still shocked by the fact that vaccines scare people but unproven treatments are ingested like it's no big deal...

 

Actually posted on FB by Bri's pediatric office...

I know people might see me as a "downer" or a pessimist. I have admitted more than once that I am more of a "half-glass empty" type person. I have sadly had a lot of hits in my life that have contributed to that. But, I'd like to start thinking maybe I am really more of a realist than a pessimist...

It's not like I am never optimistic. If I was a total pessimist, I wouldn't have Briana in my life. I went through six years of struggle trying to build my family. If I never had any hope at all, I would have given up back then, but I didn't. I kept going somehow and brought my daughter home. 

 

I hope for the best and prepare for the worst. It's just how I am wired.

And just know, I will never agree to disagree when it comes to this pandemic. There is a right side and a wrong one. I'm usually a person who tries to see both sides of things. Trying to look at someone else's perspective. But when it comes to this, I just don't see two sides...

I have a couple last things to put out there...

And...

My next post will be a post about how I am trying to figure out how to get through the rest of this pandemic safely and sanely from this point on. I need to focus on self care and work on finding a happy place. Feeling this frustrated and overwhelmed this often isn't good for me - I need to fix it. For me, this all feels very traumatic. It will be difficult trying to recover from these last 18 months - since I'm still dealing with the pandemic (as is everyone else), I'm learning to accept and move on from severed and broken relationships, I'm trying to navigate very fragile and bruised relationships, all while dealing with health anxiety that transpired way before the pandemic hit - but, I am going to find a way. I will be left with a few scars from this - no doubt.

 It's going to be a journey, but I'm ready for it.

9/11 - 20 Years Later

Anyone old enough to remember that horrible day 20 years ago will remember exactly where they were  and exactly what they were doing when the attacks happened.

Including me.

This was my story...

http://waitingforbriana.blogspot.com/2008/09/always-remembera.html

 It is so difficult to believe it's been 20 years since that devastating day.

 For me, and everyone in the U.S., the nation changed that day. It triggered a different way of living. It gave us a different viewpoint of the world. We had to adapt to a new way of life. There was a pre-9/11 world and a post-9/11 world. So much changed due to one horrible day.

Visiting the NY memorial two years ago we very sad, stoic and humbling... 

After Sept 11, 2001, the nation came together to remember, to mourn, to grieve, to fight as one.

It is heartbreaking that 20 years later, due to such a toxic political environment and a life-changing pandemic, the nation is more divided than ever. Instead of people coming together for the greater good and trying to tackle a problem as one like we did 20 years ago, we are fighting each other instead.

I am not sure America will ever heal completely from these last few years. I am not sure I will ever completely heal from these last few years. I hope it does. I hope I can.

I wish September 11th had never happened. So many lives destroyed and altered that day. But sadly it did, and I hope one day we get back to that September 12th spirit of togetherness and camaraderie.

I can only hope.

Back To School - 10th Grade

Briana started school 4 weeks ago now. I definitely have mixed feelings about it.

 Let me start though with how adorable and fashionable she has been since going back to school in person... 

And yes, she's been wearing some dresses and skirts! (It's so nice seeing her in outfits other than t-shirts, comfy shorts and sleep pants - lol!)

Here she is on her first day of 10th grade...

And here she is sporting her chucks (the last time she owned a couple pairs was when she was three years old.)...

She was a bit nervous going to her high school open house (I was probably more so) a few days before school started. Luckily, she ran into some her good friends while there...

 She met all her teachers that evening and walked the halls twice to get used to where her classes were located. She has four classes (block system) - two are core classes and two are electives (American Lit, Chemistry, Culinary Arts and Spanish).

Here is Bri walking into school with her friend Imerie the first week of school...

Wednesday, Briana was inducted into the National Beta Club (as well as her friends Meredith and Jackson)...

She was invited based on her grade point average for last year - the year she went through a pandemic. She went to school virtually. Had to learn a whole lot on her own. I'm so very proud of her.

(I wore a mask during the ceremony. Just felt more comfortable doing that.)

 **********************

So, when our family made the decision to send Bri back to school back in May, it was before the delta variant reared its ugly head. We figured - she is vaccinated/protected, so she needs to get back with other teens and needs to have a life again. And once we made the decision, there was no going back to virtual - our county forced us to be locked in.

And though B is still quite protected, the variant is a beast (thanks to mutation) and even vaccinated people are getting quite sick now. They are not getting hospitalized or dying, but they still feel pretty badly. Cov!d does not sound fun and our family really, really doesn't want it. Positive case numbers have been creeping up each week at B's school. Most likely, it is mainly spreading amongst the unvaccinated.

Full disclosure, Doug and I are both fighting a head cold this weekend - after Bri only being in school for a month. It proves the "regular stuff" is still circulating too. Bri had a runny nose for a couple of days and we figured it was just allergies. She never felt sick. But, I still had her take a home covid test when we first noticed (and I took one as well to be on the safe side). We were both negative. A few days later, I started not feeling well and then Doug too. So, I took yet another home covid test - negative again. This feels like my normal, typical icky cold - scratchy throat, stuffy nose, run down - no fever, no cough. I just took a third home covid test because I like my due diligence - and again negative. This just sucks after not having a cold for almost two years.

Some teachers/kids wear masks to school, but with no mask mandate, very few are wearing them in my neck of the woods (which I have discussed numerous times in previous posts). And as you know, though masks do work/help, they are much more effective when everyone is wearing one. Briana has been bringing a mask with her to school since day one and she knew she could put it on whenever she felt it was necessary. When numbers started creeping up and then we all got colds, she put it on all day and said she felt comfortable.

I can say...Bri is happy. I can tell that she is happy to be back. She has gotten used to high school pretty quickly and that is a blessing (especially after being out of school for over a year). She did so well virtually last year, but it was obviously weird and different and kind of lonely to not be in school (especially when you are an only child). So though we are realistic and really nervous about this pandemic, we had to balance our decision this year between physical health and mental well-being. And for now, I keep hoping we made the right decision (especially now that we have colds).

I do not regret for one second keeping Bri home last year. She is vaccinated/protected now and that gives me some peace of mind. If she wasn't vaccinated, she would most likely be virtual again or going to a different school. I know it is very difficult for a lot of parents who have had to send unvaccinated kids to school (especially when there are so many schools with no mask mandates). Two of the elementary schools and one middle school (Bri's former middle school) in our area have already had to go virtual due to so many sick students in under a month. Delta is a butt-kicker.

So that is the school scoop. Praying our family continues to stays covid free - hope you all stay happy and healthy too.

Briana's 15th Birthday Recap

Briana turned fifteen a few weeks ago, and we celebrated the occasion over several days (as we usually do).

Briana's birthday always occurs during the first week of school (yay Georgia), so Bri was going to be in school all day on her actual birthday.

My parents came over the weekend before her birthday to give her some birthday presents, eat some birthday pie and try out our new pool table...

On Briana's actually birthday, she woke up to balloons on her ceiling, went to school, ate at one of her favorite restaurants for dinner, blew out birthday candles and opened gifts...

Her big surprise birthday gift was tickets to see "Hamilton" on Broadway in NY in November. She was so surprised and thrilled (she saw "Hamilton" on Disney+ during the pandemic and fell in love with it)...

Then the weekend following her birthday, she invited a few girlfriends over to watch a movie (Jungle Cruise), eat some pizza, popcorn and brownies and play pool/games...

Of course the big excitement when turning 15 is getting your learner's permit. She did that the following week...

She has practiced several times now (with Doug) and she is doing a great job so far. Still has a long way to go, but she is excited about learning...

How is my baby old enough to learn to drive now? It's crazy.

I think/hope she had a great birthday. Next year is sweet 16. I can't even believe it.

Day 6 - Heading Home

We woke up on day 6 of our Bar Harbor vacation to a beautiful, sunny day. Ugh - that made it even more difficult to leave...

 

We checked out of the hotel and drove out of town. Bar Harbor is just so pretty...

I could seriously see myself living in this part of the country. 

We arrived at the Bangor airport and got on the plane to go home...

We landed in JFK and had a much longer wait for our connecting flight, and that was fine with us.

Here is an idea of what we dealt with that first day we were running to our gate...

 

We sat in the Sky Club Lounge and ate some lunch before our next flight.

The food was so good. The pasta salad was the bomb...

Then it was time for the next flight...

We got home late in the evening and Mei Mei was SO happy to see us.

It was actually a good thing we left BH when we did because Tropical Storm Elsa hit them directly that Friday...

We had a wonderful trip. Like I said, there were a few big hiccups and some need for adjustments, but we made it work. We still had a lot of fun and happy memorable moments and saw a lot of beautiful sights.

Thanks for following along. I really enjoy blogging about our travel adventures!