53 Weeks Behind Us (Weekly Update)

53.

53 weeks behind us since coronavirus hit the state of GA.

Last week's post was a bit bitter for me. Being at this pandemic for an entire year - having it get as bad as it did - it's been tough.

I thought (I hoped) my post last week would be the last really tough post I'd have to write for a while. People are getting vaccinated now. Virus numbers are coming down (they are still pretty high though - just not horrifying like they were before). We have a new administration. There seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

But then the Atlanta spa shootings happened on Tuesday.

Yet ANOTHER bad/horrible thing to happen in Georgia.

 Living in GA since the beginning of 2020, I've had to deal with viral high school crowded hallway/maskless group photo controversies during a pandemic, Ahm@ud Arb@ry's vigilante justice murder, the ending of restrictions/lockdown way too early and before any other state (GA never had any true restrictions anyway), ginormous coronavirus numbers, M@rjorie T@ylor Greene getting elected, a very contentious extended senatorial runoff race, standardized state exams during a pandemic (which we refused and were lowered finally to .01%), accusations of voter fraud (that never existed) and now - a race driven shooting aimed at Asian-Americans - which was downplayed by the cop in charge of the case as the shooter having "a bad day." A cop who sold racist T-shirts online when the pandemic started (thank goodness he has been removed from the case). Add in national news like Ge@rge Floyd's murder and the summer protests that followed and witnessing an insurrection provoked by a president live on TV. Everything feels like a sh!t show right now.

 When I heard about this tragedy on Tuesday, I was horrified, saddened and scared for my daughter (and the entire Asian-American community). I already had been very upset by all the Asian-American attacks that have happened. I immediately posted on FB what a horrible tragedy it was. And yes - I was angry. 

I pointed out a year ago (and many times after that) that the horrible rhetoric being spewed (and still being spewed) by the former lame duck about the virus/pandemic was rac!st and very dangerous.

 Attacks against Asian-Americans have gone up by 150% since the pandemic started.

Just watch this (click link)...

https://fb.watch/4lVntoiYur/

All the times Tr@mp said "Ch!na virus" - over and over and over again.

 

Hateful. Shameful.

 

When I posted a few articles about the shootings (backing my belief that they were racially motivated due to the shooter specifically targeting Asian businesses), I mostly received validation, understanding and support (I'd say like 95%). But at the same time, I did get a little resistance - which was surprising and quite unsettling to me. I've noticed quite a bit of silence too - people who have said absolutely nothing to me about any of this.

 

A good article to read...

How are the Atlanta spa shootings NOT a hate crime?

"Baker (the spokesman) has since been removed from the case, but the damage is done. He's already used his influence to sell — on national TV — the standard cocktail of sexual fet!shism, Asian fem@les and "provoked" violence."

Doug and I had a long talk with Briana about what happened the next day. She cried. I cried. I'm not a fan of super tough conversations. And yes, Briana has had a few race-related incidents during her lifetime (which I won't get into detail here). To white adoptive parents who have a children who are BIPOC - you HAVE to talk and be open with your kids about this subject. You have to admit this is real because it is real. You are not doing them any favors by ignoring it.

 So on Friday afternoon - I just laid on my bed and cried. No, I wept. I wept for those who died that day and their families. For the Asian-American community - who is really scared right now. Because I can't understand people making excuses for r@cism, turning a blind-eye to it or believing it doesn't exist. Because people are still supporting a person who is a hateful bully/narcissist with no conscience. Because people refuse to wear masks. Because I am not sure what to do about Bri and school next year. Because I'm still struggling with chronic illness. Mourning relationships that I had to sever. Mourning relationships that may be permanently damaged. Feeling let down by a lot of people. Feeling a complete lack of control in so many aspects of my life. Knowing that my "normal" before Tr@mp and this pandemic is gone forever.

 And then, Doug and Briana came to check on me and saw how sad I was. They both comforted me - which was something I really needed in that moment. Then I reminded myself that they are what matters to me the most. And if they are in my corner, then I am good. I will be ok.

 Here are a few memes/tweet that help explain what I am feeling regarding both the shootings and the pandemic...

Once again, I had a post in mind that I planned on writing. This post went in a different direction because of current events. I think I will write a separate post this week on some of the good things that have been going on in my life. Writing about St. Patrick's Day or a visit to a bookstore just didn't feel appropriate for this particular blog post. 

So, I will be back in a few days with a more positive-themed post. To those who have kindly reached out to me or just wrote a kind comment to me about what happened - thank you. It means more than you know.