A Heartfelt Thank You

The outpouring of support and compassion I received from all of you regarding my last post has been completely overwhelming. I can't begin to tell you what all your kind words mean to me. All I can give you in return is a very "big" thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all lift my spirits - you really do.

I am actually doing really ok. Life is returning to normal. Physically I am feeling much better, even though I am SO tired. It is going to take a long time to get my energy back. Mentally I am feeling better too. Briana is not a kid that is going to allow me to be depressed and down in the dumps. When she smiles and laughs, I smile and laugh. I am beyond blessed to have this amazing little girl as my daughter.

I am just going to live my life now with my husband and daughter - enjoying every single second I can with them. I know I will feel some sadness regarding what could have been (which will lessen with time), but today I feel at peace.

I am going to try to get back into the blog world now. I have a LOT of catching up to do with blogs. I have been sporadically reading blogs here and there without doing much commenting. I also have a couple of blogs posts I need to put up. Bri did have her first Easter egg hunt at school a few weeks ago, we did manage to color eggs even though I was sick and Bri went to a fantastic birthday party last Sunday. So, I'll be hopefully up and running again in a few days.

Again, I don't know what I would do without this amazing community. Thank you, thank you...

Our Sorrowful Loss

As you all know, the entire month of March I was very sick. I got every sickness under the sun - strep throat, pink eye, cold, cough, ear infection, etc. What everyone did not know was that I was pregnant on top of all of that. Sadly last Monday night/Tuesday morning, I miscarried at 8 weeks. I didn't miscarry because of the sickness - I miscarried because it just wasn't meant to be...

Although I have always been honest and pretty forthcoming on my blog, I did consider not sharing this news because it is so very personal. But not sharing this news would have made me feel like I was holding something back, and that is just not me. So many of you have followed the events in my life for years and have been such an amazing support system. I know many of you have been wondering where I have been and what has been going on. So this is what has been going on.

I have decided though not to go into detail about the pregnancy and miscarriage on the blog. I will say that Briana was never told about the pregnancy, so she is unaware of what exactly happened to mommy.

I'm sad that I am not able to give Briana a sibling at this time. And to be honest, Briana may never have a sibling. Emotionally, physically, mentally - Doug and I are just drained. We have been working on building a family for nine years now. In those nine years, we received one amazing blessing and are so eternally grateful. I think about those of you still waiting for your children after years and years of waiting (whether biologically or through adoption) and my heart goes out to you. The strain is unbelievable. Over the last few days I decided to stop, take a breath and remember all the blessings that I have in my life. In life, sometimes you just have to know when to fold your hand. I have a wonderful husband, supportive family and friends, and the most amazing, spirited, outgoing daughter. I have a very happy and fulfilled life. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this beautiful little girl in my world...

We are sad. We are grieving. But I know we are going to be just fine.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall ~ Confucius."

We Should Be Back Soon - Lots Going On...

Well obviously, I'm still not back in the blogging world. I've been very, very sick as you all know and now I have a couple of other things going on in my life that are preventing me from blogging or from wanting to blog. I want to thank everyone who has left me a comment the last couple of weeks just checking in on me.

I am pretty sure that me, Doug and Miss B will be back next week to share more adventures. I just need a little more time until my return.

I managed to take a few pretty pics of my weeping cherry tree last week. Spring is here, but sadly I haven't been able to enjoy it all that much. Hoping things will turn around and I can enjoy spring soon.

We'll be back soon...

Alive - But Still Sick

Yep - I'm still sick. Last week was a blur. I felt extra horrible the whole week and couldn't figure out why. Friday night, I was back at the Urgent Care Center to find out that I did have strep after all. The first test didn't detect it for some reason. Lovely. A bad cold on top of strep throat and an ear infection. I was a hot mess. So I am on a Z Pack now. My throat feels much better, but I still have my ear infection. Hopefully the antibiotics will knock it out eventually too.

Poor Miss B has my cold now. I don't think this sickness will ever leave this house.

Not sure when I'll be back in blogland. It will be when everyone is finally better I guess.

Stick A Fork In Me - I'm Done

Sick - that is what I am. I am hopefully on the tail end of this, but I am so weak, I don't even really feel like typing this post.

I took an amazing online Photoshop class from my pal Lisa Thursday night and while I was online that night, my throat started to hurt. By Friday, my glands swelled up too. Went to the Urgent Care Center Saturday morning for a strep test which thank goodness came back negative. Saturday afternoon, I started to get congested in my head a little. By Saturday night, I looked in the mirror and realized I was getting Briana's pink eye to top everything off. Sunday morning, my left ear completely blocked up and started to ring and my head felt like a balloon. I still feel like a balloon head this morning and my energy is completely zapped. As I said before, "Stick a Fork in Me..."

Doug was so great over the weekend. He tended to me and took care of Bri all weekend while I stayed in bed. I haven't been able to do anything. Had to cancel all the plans I had. :(

I haven't been on the computer at all this weekend except to write a couple of e-mails. I haven't been able to look at blogs at all. I think this is a good time to take a short break from blogging and attempt get my health back. Hopefully I'll get back soon and I'll be feeling 100% again. Have a good week!

Black and White Wednesday

To see more black and white photos, please visit...

A Few More "Firsts"

We have had a few more "firsts" in the past few weeks. I love to see Briana experience things for the first time. Today, she had her very first dentist appointment. She was a total rock star! She sat right in the chair, let the hygienist clean her teeth and also allowed the dentist to count her teeth without any fuss. She made me so super proud today...



Look at that white smile when it was all over...

They took a picture of her when it was all done. Cheese!!!

Saturday night, Doug and I took Briana bowling for the first time. Cosmic bowling to be exact. She has been begging to go bowling for some reason for the longest time...

First bowling shoes...


Woo Hoo!!!!

Of course, she needed to play a little air hockey with daddy as well...

The Sunday before last, Bri went to see a musical version of "Mulan" for the first time with her friend Mary Lin. Bri was a little cranky at first because she woke up from a nap in the car...

But the girls really enjoyed the show and afterward, they got a little silly!!!


Briana has also been writing some of her favorite letters by herself. She loves to write the letters "o", "i", "e" and "b".

And lastly, a few weeks ago, Briana learned to play computer games on p.b.s kids all by herself. She can point and click like a champ...

Here she is playing a game. She's very excited...



I can't believe how grown up my girl is getting...

Flashback Friday

Just waking up from a nap on the bus in Chongqing...

Black and White Wednesday

A week ago, we had yet another snowfall. This time though, it was a very wet icy snow and it wasn't really good for playing in. But with a pair of rain boots and an umbrella, it can still be lots of fun!

For more great B&W photos, please visit Lisa's blog...

Perfect Princess Birthday Party

All I can say is "WOW." Briana attended her friend Emily Grace's 4th birthday party on Saturday afternoon and I swear it was like being at Disney World all over again. The party was held on the second floor of a small restaurant and Amy (Emily Grace's mom) had several of her students (she is a high school latin teacher) dress as princesses and visit the little girls. Oh my gosh. The look on their faces was priceless. Briana had the best time ever!!!

Here is my girl ready for the party...


Briana and Emily Grace (the birthday girl)...

Friends - Katie, Chani and Briana...

Look at the food the kids got! A dream on a plate!

The first princess arriving - look at their faces...

Snow White deemed all the little girls princesses...

The girls learned a dance with Belle...

Prince Charming danced with Cinderella then the birthday girl...

Cinderella and the girls...

You can see Emily Grace better in this one...

Briana's favorite princess was Princess Aurora. She danced and danced with her...

Lots of dancing was going on!


This was a party that no one will ever forget!!!