Every time I see the end of the month of July on the horizon, I start to feel anxious. The last week of July and the first week of August are always filled with a roller coaster of emotions. This year was no exception.
A bunch of highs and lows. Some happiness and some sadness. Throw in a bit of anxiousness, nervousness and stress ~ and life starts to feel a bit overwhelming.
Our county starts back to school at the beginning of August each year, which seems ridiculous to some people. But, it allows for a nice number of breaks throughout the year. Even though we know lots of breaks are in our future, it doesn't really help ease the sadness of summer vacation being over so quickly.
Briana is not a school lover, even though she's a good student. She tolerates it. She relishes her summer freedom. She loves each and every second of it. She's pretty miserable when summer vacation is over and she has to face a new grade with new challenges. Bri is always kind of nervous to start the school year (school started Aug 1), and the first week of school always feels different and unfamiliar.
At the same exact time, Bri deals with emotions about her past/being adopted - emotions that bubble to the surface much more around our "celebration"/"anniversary" times ~ family day anniversary (July 30)
and B's birthday (Aug 5). This year seemed to be tougher on Bri than years past. I'm sure it's because she is maturing. She has a better understanding/realization about what happened to her. Bri has so many unanswered questions. Questions she will probably never get any answers to. It really bothers her. Yes - there have been some tears. I'm grateful she feels comfortable enough to share her thoughts and feelings with me, but it's so heartbreaking to witness. I feel so helpless sometimes.
Doug and I threw Briana a super fun birthday party on Saturday afternoon. She had a fabulous time with a bunch of her friends (post coming soon) and she was sad when it was over. Now that we are over the hump of the first week of school and all the celebrations are over, we can all get back into a normal, quieter routine. I think it will be good for her - for all of us.
I am in recuperation mode this week. I know it sounds a bit dramatic. But with all the physical running around I have done the past two weeks preparing for school/B's birthday along with dealing with lots of emotional "stuff", I feel unbelievably drained.
I still have to blog about the end of summer as well as Bri's birthday festivities. I promise to get around to it very soon.
1 Kind Words:
Hugs to you Lisa, sounds like B has been having a rough time. Glad to hear you are getting back to normal.
G goes back to school next Thurs, I think she will be ready when times comes. I have been suffering a bit with anxiety (I think its work related) so have not been feeling that great myself.
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