Bri begged me on Friday afternoon to paint her nails, so I decided to paint them all different colors - and she got a big kick out of it...
January 9, 2011
Painted Nails and Dress Up
Bri begged me on Friday afternoon to paint her nails, so I decided to paint them all different colors - and she got a big kick out of it...
January 6, 2011
She Told Me She Misses Them
I often struggle with how much I should share on my blog. I don't want to share everything that Briana and I talk about because I really don't want to divulge Briana's private thoughts. But I do want to share something that happened last night - I just won't go into too much detail.
Last night, I was drying Briana off after she took a shower. Totally out of the blue, she said to me in a soft voice, "I miss my China Moms" (meaning her birth mom and foster mom). I was so surprised because it was very unexpected given the moment and the fact that we had been talking about all sorts of regular every day stuff up until then. We talk about adoption every now and then and it is usually when she brings up the subject. But this was the very first time she used the word "miss" when referring to them. I hugged her and told her that it was ok to miss them and that I completely understood that she misses them. We had a conversation about them as I helped her get into her jammies. Sadly, I had to tell her a lot of "I don't knows." I asked her if she wanted to read the lifebook I made for her before bed and she said yes. But she asked me if daddy could read it to her - which he gladly did.
It is so hard to look into my daughter's eyes and tell her "I don't know." But I do try to follow up with information that I do know (what little I know). It was so hard for me to hear her say that she misses her China mothers. Not because I feel threatened in any way, but because I know I can't fix this for her. I can fix a scraped knee or a broken toy. It is a mother's instinct to try to fix things for her children, but this is something I cannot fix. I know this is just the beginning of the questions, statements and feelings that will come from her. I hope I said all the right things to her last night. I hope I will continue to say the right things to her. I know can't take her confusion and sadness away, but what I can be is her sounding board and a shoulder to cry on if and/or when she needs one. I hope my heart is ready for this...
January 4, 2011
Looking Back On 2010
2010 was year of mixed emotions...
There were so many wonderful and happy moments:
Briana got a passport.
We attended a wonderful CNY celebration in Chattanooga.
Had a couple of snows early in the year.
Bri had her first trip to the zoo.
Bri attended 12 different birthday parties (not including her own) but sadly missed 3.
Bri's 100 Good Wishes Quilt was completed.
We celebrated our 3 year Briana Day.
We vacationed in Hilton Head.
Bri had her Spring Spectacular.
Bri had her first appointment at the dentist.
Briana learned to swim and continued to play soccer.
We went blueberry picking.
I went a little crazy with 4th of July outfits.
Tried to solve a problem like Briana.
I went on a photo walk.
Bri got her ears pierced.
Briana turned 4 in August and had a great birthday party.
Bri started PreK.
Bri starts really noticing boys (this should probably be in the "lows" section. ;D )
Doug and I went to see Bon Jovi.
We went to Huntsville (including the Star Wars exhibit) and visited family.
We went to the Asian Cultural Experience.
Doug and I celebrated 13 years of marriage.
We celebrated the moon festival.
Briana got invited into an "invitation only" gymnastics class.
Bri and I started Mandarin language class.
We had tons of wonderful play dates (including a marathon one).
I went on my first field trip with Briana.
Bri went on three carousels in three days.
Doug and I revisited the 80's.
We went to Disney World for a second time and visited family.
We visited the dairy farm and corn maize.
Bri saw her first Cirque Show.
We rode the Santa Train and visited Rock City.
We went to two puppet shows.
Had a magical Christmas season.
We had a white Christmas for the first time in GA since the 1800's.
There were also a few lows:
I had mixed feelings on Shen Yun.
My kitty was diagnosed with cancer (luckily the tumor was removed and she is fine now).
Bri had some fear.
Briana decided to go question crazy on me.
I put myself out there and had "my say" and it was scary (I had a few angry people comment that had a very different opinion on the subject. A few months later, I decided to go back and delete the negative comments. I figured that if someone can't be civil or is trying to start an argument, his/her words don't get to stay on my blog. But I don't regret having my say at all).
Briana didn't want to play with a particular girl at school (but learned a lesson).
I got asked an uncomfortable question (but I got some good advice).
I started feeling uneasy about my upcoming high school reunion.
Bri and I decided to take a break from Mandarin language class (per Bri's request - I'm very sad about this).
I got sick with everything under the sun in the spring.
I had a very heartbreaking loss and a bittersweet Mother's Day.
And I felt a bit blue. (But found acceptance.)
So that is a quick summary of our 2010. And there is a bunch a stuff that I didn't even get to put on list. The good news is that there were a lot more happy moments than sad ones in 2010. And I don't know if I can keep up the Briana pace I had last year, but I am going to try my best. I think 2011 is going to be a year of my trying to find myself again - to figure out what my next move in life is. Life didn't turn out exactly as I had planned in my head for so many years, so now I need to readjust. And I will. I just need a little time.
So onward to 2011. I'm ready - I think.
January 2, 2011
New Year's Eve Celebration
We went over to my friend/neighbor Amy's house to celebrate New Year's Eve with her wonderful family. It was an early celebration - one where we were home by 9. Bri was in dreamland by 9:30. :)
Three New Year's Eve cuties..
A Few More December Pics
Christmas Eve, we tracked Santa when he was in Chongqing. Very exciting!!!
Next post - New Year's Eve!!!
January 1, 2011
December 31, 2010
Briana 2010 - A Year In Pictures
Here is a video montage of a few of my favorite photos of my gal from this past year. Happy New Year everyone!
December 27, 2010
A Surprise White Christmas
Here is Briana and my grandmother looking out at my parents' backyard on Christmas Day - there were six deer walking in the woods...
December 24, 2010
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