Doug proposed marriage in front of the falls on September 23, 1995. Doug and I had visited Anny Ruby Falls a number of times while we dated and fell in love with the place. Doug always told me though that he would never propose to me there because that is what I would have expected. I give him credit because he threw me off the scent. I never expected a proposal there because of what he said. Well, except on that day. We drove up to Anna Ruby the morning of the proposal (I thought we were just going for a visit) and he started acting strangely when we got there. He barely touched our picnic lunch I that had packed for us to eat before walking up to the falls and he was pacing around a bit. I started to get a sense that something was up. Once we arrived at the falls, he walked away from me and started up a conversation with a couple that was also visiting the falls. I didn't realize that he was asking them to take pictures of the proposal. When I turned around, he was on his knee with my ring and I started to cry. It was an amazing moment in my life. As we walked back down the path to our car, the couple that took the pictures of the proposal walked down behind us and told everyone heading up to the falls that we had just got engaged. Unfortunately, not one picture they took turned out. The pictures were completely black. I have no idea what happened. But I do have pictures of my ring once we returned home that day...
When I found out that I was pregnant in 2002, I was terrified. Doug and I had tried for a year to start a family before we sought help. My doctor put me on Clomid and he checked my hormones levels (via blood tests) at certain points of my cycle each month. I finally found out I was pregnant on my third round of Clomid. But my progesterone level was so low during that cycle, when I called to tell the nurse that I had a positive pregnancy test (ok, I had 5 positive pregnancy tests), she told me it was impossible for me to be pregnant. She didn't believe I was pregnant. I begged her to let me take a blood test to find out for sure and she agreed. I cried all the way to the lab because she made me feel like I was crazy. Two days later, I proved her very, very wrong. (And she never apologized - which is another story. I left the practice after my miscarriage.) But, she told me that I had a 50/50 chance of miscarriage with a progesterone level that low.
When I was about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant (October of 2002), Doug took me up to Anna Ruby to try to take my mind off of how scared I was. We were hoping for the best, but we were also bracing for the worst. I just didn't feel pregnant at the time, even though everyone was telling me I was pregnant. I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks (that looked good) and my hormone levels looked good - except for progesterone. So, I was put on synthetic progesterone in pill form (I found out later from another doctor that oral progesterone is practically useless). But I knew deep down something was very wrong. As I walked up to and down from those falls, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I just couldn't be happy. My pregnancy went along for 11 weeks. And a few days before Thanksgiving, I did indeed miscarry. It was one of the lowest points of my life. (For those of you that have experienced easy, no worry pregnancies, consider yourself blessed and very lucky. I have been pregnant twice, and they most definitely were not happy, carefree pregnancies. I was completely terrified during both of them, and it ended up both times that I had every right to be scared.)
You can see from this picture that I had a fake smile planted on my face...
Here we were last week with our amazing little girl. Our smiles were very real...
2 Kind Words:
What a wonderful new memory to have of such a special place for you all. Glad you all made the trip.
LISA, TEARS WHEN I READ THIS.....FOR "I" KNOW EXACTLY THOSE FEELINGS. DX
Post a Comment