Show Your Desk Challenge

I was tagged by Terri to the "Show Your Desk Challenge". So here it goes!

Welcome to the desk in my office, otherwise known as adoption headquarters or blogger central. Can you tell that Doug has very little to do with his room? It is definitely a girly room/desk. I know, I know - I have feathery fru fru lamps. I saw them a few years ago and had to buy them. Don't know why I like them, but I do. I would never put these lamps anywhere else in my house because I actually am very contemporary when it comes to decorating. But this is my space, so fru fru it is.

My desk is actually more of a writing desk that doubles as a computer desk. It has thin legs, and I bought the file cabinet to match. Funny story...I bought a desk from Haverty's that I absolutely loved. On delivery day, I didn't realize that the door to my office was too narrow for the desk to fit through, so the delivery guys had to take it back. How embarrassing is that? So I went back out and hunted down another desk (which I found at Woodstock Outlet) in which the legs could come off so it could fit through the friggin' doorway.

Doug bought me one of those "old time" looking phones for Christmas a few years ago, and since I don't have caller ID on the phone itself, Doug got me the coolest caller ID box. It lights up four different colors, so from across the room, you can tell who is calling. Don't get on my bad side, I will make your number red! I don't answer red! LOL!

I love my flat screen computer monitor because it takes up such little space on the desk. There is a picture of China taped to the wall right above my desk and a red magazine holder on the desk which I use to hold folders with all my adoption info. I have a picture of my wedding party, a pic of Doug when we first started dating and a pic of me and friends Kathy and Mick that we took last Christmas. On the left you will see a photo scanner - which I have scanned a ton of old pictures on. My current computer desktop background is a picture of the parasols at the Wynn Hotel in Vegas, and my mouse pad is fifties retro. Cute huh?

So, there it is. My fru fru desk. It is girly and somewhat cluttered, but it is all mine!

Another Good Fortune

Doug and I went out for Chinese food last night, and I got another cool fortune out of my cookie.

It said, "Use your abilities at this time to stay focused on your goal. You will succeed."

Woohoo! Hey, I'll take it!

New Doll

My mom came to my house to see Briana's finished nursery on Friday, and she brought me this beautiful angel doll. The doll plays "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and her head moves as the music plays. She is so cute! I know Briana will love her, and I will play this doll for her all of the time.

I feel a very deep sadness when I listen to music boxes, especially ones that play children's tunes. When the soft jingle starts, I feel like crying. I can't help it. The melody that comes from a music box sounds like a lullaby, and it reminds me my miscarriage and my baby in China. Knowing this about me, my mom bought this doll and held on to it for over a year and a half. Because my referral is so close now and the baby's room is basically done, she felt it was the time to give it to me. And she was right, the doll fits in Briana's nursery perfectly. I know when Briana comes home, music boxes will bring happy tears instead of sad ones!

Thank you so much Mom - love you!

Finally - The Nursery

Well, here it is! Briana's room! I still have some final touches to make, but now I have the big furniture - crib, glider, ottoman and dresser with changing table top.

It was a lot of work, but I am very pleased with how it turned out.

Now we just need a baby! As you can see, I placed my baby doll (that looks so real) in the crib so I can pretend that a baby is in the room!

The Name "Briana"

I have loved the name Briana for years. The meaning of the name Briana means "noble, strong, virtuous". The pronounciation we chose for our daughter's name is "bree AH nah", and we are spelling the name with one "n". And here is the name spelled in Chinese characters.

Yep - Two Days

I just had to post this. This is the proof that the CCAA only matched two whole days of LID's.

And they haven't updated the review room info either. For those not through the review room yet, I am hoping they change that for you soon! Fingers crossed!

Getting Over The Shock

I am starting to get over the shock of finding out how many days the CCAA matched this month. Last week was unbelievably stressful. The waiting, the pacing, the wondering was almost more than I could bear. Though the answer that finally came was majorly disappointing, it was at least it was an answer.

To lighten our mood, Doug and I decided to see "Blades of Glory" this weekend. It was so stupid but really funny. I needed to go and see a movie that was ridiculous and mindless yet made me laugh out loud. It was nice not thinking too hard - for a few hours anyway.

Doug and I picked up the last pieces of baby furniture (glider, ottoman and changing table top for the dresser) on Thursday from The Babies Room. And we finally got the crib and dresser delivered the week before that. I promise to post pictures this week. It is starting to feel like a baby lives in the house (too bad it isn't true).

In a few weeks, as referral day gets closer, I (all of us) will start the process all over again - the waiting, the pacing, the wondering. After six long years of trying to start my family without success, I don't know what it feels like anymore to just to wake up in the morning and not feel like there is something missing in my life - a child. I don't know what it feels like to not want something so desperately that I can't have - something that a lot of other people seem obtain so easily. I desperately want to know how it feels. When I do finally get my referral, I don't know if I will even believe my dream is coming true. I will definitely be pinching myself, that's for sure.

I will say, without the support from my friends, family, blog buddies and the adoption community, this wait would be so much worse. You all get me through it. You really, really do. Thank you, thank you.

Bad News

It is looking like there were only 2 or 3 LIDs matched for this batch of referrals. Devastating doesn't even begin to describe this situation. I thought I would have a May referral for sure, now I'm thinking June - maybe June - hopefully June. I haven't gotten any confirmation from my agency yet about this, but I have seen this info in enough places to know it is true.

I am emotionally drained. I am going to bed...

17 Months

It has been seventeen months since LID. Hopefully, not too much longer...

Keep Holding On

Every time I hear "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne on the radio, I think about my baby in China. I also think about me and Doug. Doug and I need to keep holding on to each other and to our dream of meeting our daughter soon. Briana needs to hold on because her mommy and daddy will be there soon to bring her home. Hold on baby girl...we are almost there.