I Need Some Alone Time

I need a break. And I'm actually not talking about bloggy break.

Life is good. All the smiles I put up on this blog are very real. I promise. But no one can be happy 100% of the time. You know that. I know that.

I'm not trying to be whiny or have a pity party, but I am legitimately feeling "off kilter" lately.

I've had a couple of very busy weeks including a very busy weekend (which I plan to blog about), so maybe all that is adding to my feeling of being "overdone."

I'm feeling the need to take a break from everyone and everything. I need to decompress. Doug travels quite a bit. I am a full-time stay at home mom, so I'm in "parent mode" pretty much 24/7. I unexpectedly lost one of my best friends in March. I sometimes overextend myself or say yes to things I shouldn't to make other people happy. I'm guess I'm just tired of being "on" all the time.

And I'm starting to feel some anxiety - and that's not good.

Please don't get me wrong. I love my life. I love being with Briana. I love being with Doug. I love being with friends and family. But, I am never alone for an extended period of time - taking quiet time for just me.

I haven't had extended time away from Briana in over three years. I've only had two trips away from Bri ever. In April 2012, I was away from her for 5 days when I went on my 15th anniversary trip to Napa with Doug (which was a wonderful vacation). And then last year, I went to FL for a couple days to attend my grandmother's funeral (which was a very sad trip). Those are the only extended periods of time that I have ever been away from Bri ~ and Bri is almost 9 years old.

I am not saying that I don't like being with my kid. I love spending time with her. I love going on vacation with her. She is my everything and you all know that. But parents do need to get out of "parent mode" every once in a while.

I have a date nights with Doug and girls nights out here and there. And Bri might spend the night at my mom's house or a friend's house every once in a blue moon. It helps rejuvenate me a little bit, but lately, it's not helping enough.

I've been thinking about going somewhere - not too far - for just a couple days on my own. Doug keeps telling me I just need to go and do it. But it seems like important things keep popping up that don't allow me to get away. Doug travels often during the week, so a getaway would most likely need to be on a weekend and my weekends have been pretty full lately.

 It's frustrating.

We will be taking a relaxing family vacation for a few days quite soon, so hopefully that will pull me out of this icky, anxious place that I seem to be in right now. And if it doesn't, I will be scheduling some "me" time sooner than later.